Brothers Turn Two | Little Blue Truck Birthday Party

Another year, another book-themed birthday party for our boys. Last year, it was one of my favorites – this year, it was theirs! They’d been requesting to read every book from the Little Blue Truck series (we now own all of them) so much throughout the summer that we had to put them away for awhile (IYKYK). But when it was time to start planning, I knew they’d love a Little Blue Truck theme and knew it would be an easy one to DIY!

You can shop everything from this Little Blue Truck party all in one place HERE on LTK.

I found the sweetest watercolor Little Blue Truck invitation template on Etsy, along with matching milestone posters that I thought would be cute to hang and let guests read a little spotlight on each of our boys. Both templates were super easy to edit online and I had everything printed at Office Depot. Click below to shop Little Blue Truck party invitations and designs!

I’m a sucker for some punny party food labels, so for our Little Blue Truck themed party food, we served:
–Cow patties (chocolate cookies)
–Truck tires (Oreos)
–Hay bales (Rice Krispie treats)
–Chicken feed (Chex mix)
–Pitchforks & shovels (forks & spoons)
–Fresh produce (fruit tray and burger fixin’s)
and a fillin’ station (drinks).

I saw the dump truck full of chips idea on Pinterest – a little sticky tack rolled up in a ball held the bin at just the right angle and voila! And if you’re wondering why the dump truck – there’s a very grumpy dump truck that Little Blue Truck ends up befriending in the original story.

We ordered a lemon blueberry cake from a local baker (my husband’s idea – he said “lemon blue” for “Little Blue” just made sense lol) and I had her keep it simple on top so I could use a few of our farm animal toys as cake toppers. I love how it turned out!

The big hit of the party was a surprise we saved for after burgers and cake – our guest of honor! I thought it would be a long shot to find someone local with an old blue truck they’d be willing to bring over for the party, but knew if anyone had the connections to make it happen, it’d be my father-in-law. Sure enough, he knows a classic car enthusiast with the perfect “little blue truck” who was more than willing to drive it over from the next town for us for the afternoon. So kind of them.

The boys were starstruck – Shep was nervous to sit inside but Hayes was SO pumped. They got to go for a ride around the culdesac in the truck bed and “drive” in the driveway and had the biggest time. The adults enjoyed checking out the ‘58 Chevy, too!

Felt like this was a little glimpse into my future – I’ll need every bit of the 14 more years before they’re actually driving to mentally prepare!

Their personalized Little Blue Truck shirts were another Etsy find – the seller was so great to work with and I was really impressed with the quality of the design and the screen printing. I love that they’re not necessarily “birthday” shirts, and I sized up, so they’ll be able to wear them quite a bit! They also got these Little Blue Truck pajamas – such a hit.

Such a sweet day celebrating our big two-year-olds with family and friends. Time sure has flown with these boys and the days only get more fun! We love you, brothers!

My Deep Cleaning Rotation

Keeping things organized is just part of my nature. Always has been. Keeping things clean… not so much. I’ve never cared as much about cleanliness as I have about edited and simplified spaces, but as a mom with three little ones and a big dog running around creating messes all day long, clean is a higher priority now.

Of course we have our daily cleaning routines — running the dishwasher, doing a load of laundry, sweeping, wiping down surfaces. Other tasks I’ll do as needed - vacuuming, cleaning toilets, etc. But when it’s time for a deep clean – when I want things to feel CLEAN clean, I’ll set aside a bigger chunk of time. I’d rather clean a space from top to bottom all the way than doing a little bit here and there.

I was inspired by Francie Outlaw to create a set of deep cleaning lists for our home. When she first shared hers, admittedly, I didn’t get the hype. I thought “Who needs a checklist for cleaning? Just clean!” But the more she shared them, I got on board and appreciated having a checklist for each area of our home to make sure I’m really being thorough and not forgetting anything.

While she has physical notecards, I realized I prefer the lists as a Note/checklist on my phone, so I can mark things off as I go, easily add a notation for when that particular deep clean was last done, and I don’t have to worry about cards getting dirty. Plus, I can edit the lists as needed, as our kids grow and things look different, and as the items in our home change. So far it’s worked great!

For my lists, I grouped certain spaces if it made sense to knock them out together. From start to finish, each area takes about 1-2 hours and I’ll complete them as needed. I’ve made it a goal to get through the entire list a few times a year: early summer, pre-holidays, and hopefully once more. Feel free to copy these lists and tweak to make your own set!

MASTER BATH

• clean sink + bar keepers friend

• clean window + lights + mirror + decor

• clean shower

• clean toilet

• disinfect tub

• disinfect counters 

• wipe down cabinets

• wipe out drawers

• baseboards

• empty trash + clean trash can

• sweep + mop

• wash bath mat

• wash linens

• refill soap

• inventory

MASTER BEDROOM + CLOSET

• wash sheets + pillowcases + duvet cover

• all dirty clothes in hampers

• dust furniture + fan + shoe shelves

• wipe down decor + TV + mirror

• clean windows

• clean under furniture

• vacuum curtains

• baseboards

• tidy dresser + nightstand drawers

• make bed

• sweep + mop

LAUNDRY ROOM + HALF BATH

• dust shelf + decor

• tidy cabinets + inventory

• wipe down washer + dryer

• clean inside washer + lint trap

• clean window

• clean toilet + stool

• clean sink + bar keepers friend

• refill soap

• wipe counters + decor + mirror

• baseboards

• empty trash

• sweep + mop

• iron clothes

KITCHEN + DINING

• clean appliances inside + out

• purge + wipe out fridge

• dust all lights

• clean + disinfect sink

• soak silverware

• wipe down coffee area + refill machine

• refill canisters

• refill soaps + clean soap dispenser

• refill centerpiece candles

• clean windows + blinds

• clean trashcans

• wipe out drawers + cabinets

• wipe down cabinets + backsplash

• tidy + disinfect countertops

• wipe down table, chairs, buffet + decor

• disinfect booster seats

• wipe pantry shelves + inventory

• wash linens

• baseboards

• sweep + mop

LIVING ROOM + Stairs

• tidy + rotate toys

• wash pillow covers + blankets

• wipe down coffee table

• dust lamp, decor, mantle, tv

• wipe down picture frames

• clean + vacuum out fireplace

• clean windows + blinds

• vacuum curtains

• vacuum couch + under cushions

• clean + sweep under couches

• sweep stairs

• sweep coat closet, tidy + wipe down shelves

• baseboards

• sweep + vacuum + mop floors

• wash Ruggable

KIDS’ ROOMS

• wash linens + make beds

• tidy bookshelves + baskets

• dust furniture + decor

• dust fans + lights

• clean under furniture

• tidy closets + dust shelves

• baseboards

• vacuum drapes

• clean windows + blinds

• vacuum floors

• empty + clean vacuum

UPSTAIRS BATH + HALL

• sweep upstairs hallway

• dust hallway frames + windowsill 

• clean sink + bar keepers friend

• disinfect bathtub + tidy toys

• disinfect non-slip mat in tub

• clean toilet

• dust lights

• wipe down counters, mirror, decor

• wipe cabinets

• wipe out drawers

• refill soap

• baseboards

• empty trash

• vacuum rug

• sweep + mop

• wash linens

• inventory

GARAGE

• tidy toys

• rotate seasonal things to/from attic

• tidy + wipe down counters + cabinets

• wipe down workout bench

• wipe freezer + fridge inside and out

• put donations in car

• break down boxes + take out trash

• inventory

• sweep floors

OUTSIDE

• leaf blow

• pick up dog poop

• wipe down chairs

• clean windows

• clean grill

• shake out and sweep around door mats

• sweep porch + patio

• sweep doorframes + cobwebs

• clean dog bowls

• disinfect patio table

• wipe down tv

• water plants

A quick note on cleaning products — at the beginning of 2024, I started fresh with all new cleaning products. We now use Branch Basics for everyday cleaning, wiping surfaces, etc., and Force of Nature as our disinfectant. Both are completely non-toxic and fragrance-free, and I’ve been so impressed with their effectiveness. The Force of Nature link above will get you 40% off and earns me extra capsules for sharing. I recommend the Year’s Supply — it’s a really great value and should last you closer to 2 years or more!

Hopefully this was helpful to you, even just to articulate what exactly it takes do a true reset in each area of your home when it comes to cleaning. Whether you’re frequently hosting or in the thick of motherhood with young kids, it feels good to know that even as the daily messes pile up, your home functions at a baseline of cleanliness, with an extra fresh slate when you need it.

How I Manage + Organize My Digital and iPhone Photos

Consider this a sequel to my post on Living with Less and Prioritizing Simplicity in our Home. This time, we’re talking all things digital photos! After doing a giant organizational overhaul of our home and the things in it over the last couple of years, I still felt like I didn’t have a handle on our personal photos. I’ve always kept my clients’ photos organized, with systems in place for culling, storing, and backing up securely, but I couldn’t say the same for my personal photos. The number of Recents just sitting on my phone was in the thousands, and I know I’m not alone there.

As a photographer, of course I value professional photos. They’re artful, intentional, and they help me to remember certain seasons in a really beautiful light. I like to record things for our family with my big camera, too. But iPhone photos can be just as important - the little day to day moments, the funny videos, the vacation memories. They all hold extreme value.

Just like I prefaced the first blog, let me say again – a lot of this might sound harsh or extreme. It’s taken some perspective shifts and lightbulb moments to change some hard-wired habits and ways of thinking. Just like clothes and belongings, I get the attachment to photos and the anxiety/worry/guilt that comes with trying to pare them down. I get it. Your memories are yours alone and what’s important to you is important to you for a reason. So again, this is what’s currently working for me. If something’s helpful to you, great! If not, keep on keepin on.

The WHY Behind My Digital Photo Overhaul

It’s funny to look back and think about our own childhood photos. My mom was great at keeping photo albums and I loved flipping through them, but those albums held dozens, maybe a hundred. Certainly not thousands upon thousands of photos.

Now, we (80s and 90s babies) are parents to the most photographed generation in history. But what purpose is that actually serving? At what point does the sheer number of photos outweigh the benefit of keeping them all? Snapping photos has become almost a comfort thing for us in some ways. We think I HAVE TO CAPTURE THIS RIGHT NOW OR I’LL REGRET IT, instead of allowing ourselves to be fully present and then letting the moment pass on by. But do we lose some of the meaning, the intention, the value of a memory captured if it’s just floating around in a sea of tens of thousands of other memories captured? It sure becomes harder for memories to stand out and be appreciated…

I think some of us are scarred by the lack of tangible memories and sad that we don’t have more pictures from our own childhood. Which is understandable. But the challenge is this: you don’t have to overcompensate for that when it comes to your kids. I actually kind of appreciate the 90s way of NOT having every single little moment captured and saved. There’s gotta be a happy medium that exists between a lack of childhood memories captured on camera, and way too freaking many.

The number of photos on your phone is only going to increase. If your kids are little and it’s already at 5,000, 10,000, 20,000 - what’s it going to be at when they’re in high school? And beyond that? There is no physical way we can go back through and enjoy and relive 100,000, 500,000, a million photos some day down the road. It’s just not feasible. Even if we just wanted to look through a few at a time, or refer back to a certain memory, or photos from a certain season or event, how is that going to work if our photos aren’t organized? Are we going to just hope our iPhones still function the same and we can scroll back through 15 years’ worth of photos? That is a lot of scrolling.

I look at this as doing my future self and my children a favor. Not burdening them with more than they could ever possibly go through. Keeping only the best of the best. Keeping things manageable, for their sake. There’s a fine line between a lot to appreciate, and just plain overwhelming. Just like I’m not going to burden my kids with storage units worth of physical items to sort through one day, I’m not going to burden them with hundreds of thousands of photos, either.

the hardest part: culling

I’ve tried to make a habit of deleting iPhone photos as I go, culling through them daily or just right after I take a bunch. I also LOVE the strategy of using the search feature in the Photos app to search for the current date (ex. July 25) – it will show you every photo and video you’ve ever taken on July 25th of any year. Look through them, smile at some memories you forgot you captured, quickly decide which few are worth keeping, repeat. Doing a nightly cull is a good starting point for going back through and narrowing down/deleting photos from throughout the years, until you’re more caught up.

What does this look like? Blurry, awkward faces, closed eyes – gone. I don’t need 12 pictures if they all have a very similar pose or facial expression. If there are multiple people in a photo from a given event, one or two of that grouping is plenty. If I’m keeping a photo, there needs to be something distinctive about it. A good example every mom can relate to – taking the monthly pictures of your infant. Did you not take 27 pictures of them with the “4 months” sign? And 85 pictures with the “11 months” sign because they were rolling over or crawling off in half of them? I’d go back through those types of “bursts” of photos and narrow it down to literally just one or two (the horror, I know – but you can do this!). If it’s scenery, same thing. I don’t need 3 pictures of the same sunset or skyline, beautiful as it may be.

Distinctive is the keyword. Distinct poses, scenes, angles, facial expressions, actions being captured. 90s mindset. I try to think about it from a photographer’s perspective – the client only knows and cares about the photos you deliver, not the ones you delete. Your kids one day will not know or care about the okay photos you deleted – they’ll be able to better appreciate the good ones you kept.

It might take months on the front end to get things culled and at a more manageable number, but imagine the weight that’ll lift! Make a goal to have your number cut by a certain percentage by a certain date – a third by Christmas? Half by this time next year? And you’ll get to relive some memories as you go. Culling is the most time-intensive part. Beyond that, getting photos and videos off your phone and into folders every couple of months. once you’re caught up, takes minimal effort and time. 

off the phone, onto the external hard drive

A big influence for me in all of this is Nancy Ray – I listen to her podcast pretty often and have always heard her talk about her Legacy Photo System. She’s a former wedding photographer as well and has created an entire course about managing and organizing your family’s photos – your legacy! In her words, “Your phone is a phone. Not a storage device.” Phones get lost. They break. Did you know iCloud only syncs — it doesn’t actually create a backup? If someone gets ahold of your phone and wipes it clean, guess what - your photos are gone forever. Do you really want to trust these memories to iCloud alone? Bottom line: when photos and videos are only on your phone, they’re not permanent.

To get them off my phone and stored safely, I use two hard drives: my main external hard drive, and a backup hard drive. I store very little on my actual computer because I don’t want it to get bogged down and run slower, so all of my client photos (and now personal photos too) are on an external hard drive. My backup hard drive’s only function is to create an exact copy of my external hard drive.

So to get photos and videos off my phone, I use Image Capture (standard on Mac) or even just AirDrop. From there, I drag and drop into folders on my external. Each folder name starts with the year, then the month, then the event name. If there are multiple images from a particular event, that gets its own folder. Random one-off photos and videos can go in a seasonal folder, like 2023 Spring, 2023 Summer, etc. Here are some examples:

For something that spans multiple months (like Pregnancy – I wanted to keep all my ultrasound + bump pictures in one folder) I name the folder with whatever month it started.

After culling a tonnnnn of my kids’ baby pictures, I found it was easiest to group what was left, just day-to-day moments that don’t really fall under an event, into six-month increments: 0-6, 6-12, 12-18, 18-24 months. Beyond that, I do (Name) 2 Years Old, (Name) 3 Years Old, etc., for the miscellaneous photos and videos. For random family photos, scenery, a picture from a random date night, things like that, I do seasonal folders for each year - Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter.

Phone Settings

I realized as I started transferring photos to my hard drive that having Live Photo turned on was creating more work in the long run for me, so I turned it off – controversial, I know. Yes, it’s fun to watch Lives back, but when you import a Live Photo, it automatically creates a photo AND video version of the file and that’s just not worth the extra culling effort or file space for me. I tend to use Portrait Mode most of the time anyway.

Also, after realizing my iPhone photos were importing as HEIC files vs. JPEG, I did some research on what’s best. HEIC files retain the same quality at about half the file size of JPEG, and both types can be edited in Lightroom. However, after running into compatibility issues with printing companies and album software, converting HEICs to JPEGs became too much of a hassle, so JPEG it is for me.

Backing up my photos securely

Getting a quality external hard drive is important, but even the sturdiest external drive isn’t made to last forever. From personal experience and hearing from other photographers, it seems like 5-ish years is a normal life expectancy for these things. Which means having your photos backed up in multiple places is IMPORTANT.

My backup hard drive runs with Time Machine to create a copy of what’s on my external, and I keep it in our fire-proof safe when it’s not plugged in. On my phone, I have the Amazon Photos app, which constantly backs up new photos (not videos, but if you have Prime, it’s free to back up unlimited photos, so it’s silly not to take advantage.)

Beyond that, I knew it was worth paying for some sort of reliable cloud storage to protect these memories – as dramatic as it sounds, it’s our family’s legacy at stake. Like I mentioned before— iCloud doesn’t actually back up an extra copy of your photos, it only syncs what’s currently on your phone (so if your phone is stolen and photos get deleted, they’re gone for good) SCARY. Dropbox is a good alternative and is what Nancy Ray uses - its base plan is $119 a year for 2TB, but I didn’t need quite that much space. I have about 8,000 total photos and videos right now (1200 of those are our wedding photos) for a total of 98GB. Google One (what they now call all your storage across Gmail, Google Drive, Google Photos, etc.) has a 200GB option for $29 a year, which is perfect for me. To be honest, I hate the Google Photos interface BUT, I love the rest of the Google Suite’s integration enough to make up for it, and I like how Google Drive allows you to copy entire folders over from your computer and it keeps the same hierarchy. So Google Drive is where my photos are currently residing on the cloud!

But what about…

Accessibility? Does it bother you not being able to look at old photos on your phone?

Nope! Not an issue, because I still can! I’ll keep the current calendar year’s worth of photos and videos in my Recents folder on my phone, and if I want to look back at something else, I can easily find it on my Google Drive app. It’s all still there, organized into folders just like on my hard drive, it’s just not taking up storage space on my phone itself.

What about things like screenshots, quotes, recipes, etc.?

I did create a folder for those things within each year, however – screenshots are usually something I need to do something about. So as I’m culling, if it’s important enough to hang onto, I’ll either write it down on paper, copy it into my Notes app, email it to myself and file it within Gmail, or move that to-do item elsewhere.

How do you reconcile all this as a photographer? Don’t photographers advocate for MORE photos?

Obviously I’m a proponent of investing in professional photos for your family on a regular basis. There’s so much value in hiring someone to capture your entire family in an artful, timeless way. That said – it will always and forever be quality over quantity for me. It’s okay to only keep your very favorites from professional photo sessions. We cull your photos before we edit and deliver them to you - you’re allowed to cull even more! It’s our job to give you a gallery of what we feel is artful and beautiful. We’re providing you with options, and our goal for you is to really, truly enjoy your favorites. Maybe it’s the whole gallery! Maybe it’s half of them. Just like you do with your iPhone photos, decide which ones are most meaningful for you and your family’s legacy. Go for the ones that immediately make you feel something. Print them, frame them, put them in an album or family yearbook. It’s okay if you don’t hang onto the rest. 

My Goals from Here on Out

I’m planning to sit down and transfer photos from my phone to my computer once a month or as needed. Now that I’m caught up and culling daily, it’s really not too daunting of a task anymore to stay current.

A couple of years ago, before I even started this whole process, I started adding photos to Family Yearbook folders on my desktop. Like, the best of the best. Probably around 150-200 photos per year. I also created a Shared Album on my phone so my husband and I can both add our favorite iPhone photos that we want included in these yearbooks. At the end of this year, I finally got caught up creating those annual yearbooks for our family using mPix hardcover books. After trying out a few different options, I loved mPix’s customization features the best, but there are tons of great album companies depending on your preferences. Even an old school photo album with 4x6s of your iPhone photos is a great option! No matter what you choose, having your photos printed for your family to look back on and hold in their hands – there’s nothing better.

Something Andrew requested was a yearly family video, too. I finally caught up on 5 years’ worth of annual videos with iMovie and it was actually way easier than I expected! I just drag and drop my favorite video files and it can compile everything, in chronological order, into one continuous file. Nothing fancy, just all our favorite clips from the year combined into one long one, but so fun to look back on!

I also got archival storage boxes for our loose printed photos that aren’t in frames – one for our life pre-kids (dating/engagement/wedding/newlywed years) and one for our family memories.

Final thoughts

Just like with our home and downsizing our belongings, the mental load of managing all of it gets HEAVY. Getting to this point in downsizing our photos feels like a giant weight has been lifted. I feel like I can be much more present, enjoying the moments with my kids rather than having my phone in their face all the time. For the really important things (big life events, milestones, vacations, gatherings) I bring my big camera and leave my phone put away as much as possible, but when I do go to pull up the camera on my phone, I try to ask myself now “Am I taking this to share? Or am I taking it for us, to save?” It’s ok to take things for the purpose of sharing sometimes – we live in a connected world – but if it’s just for me and my family, I’m sure going to be more intentional about taking fewer but better photos. Quality over quantity.

Less, but better. That’s what I’m going for in all aspects of life in this season and it. is. freeing.

---

Thank you Maddie Ray for some of my very favorite family photos.

Silhouettes

This past January, something urged me to open and read a newsletter email I usually just skim over. The DIY silhouette lesson wasn’t even the point of the email, it was just a bonus link, but I was intrigued and wanted to try with my own kids, not having very high expectations, but I am in LOVE with how these turned out!

These will be treasured for decades to come and I’m so grateful I got to do these for so many friends and past clients, too.

Something about your babies’ precious profiles frozen in time — bittersweet because it’s undeniably them, yet they won’t ever be this little again. Their nose, lips, cowlicks and curls — their disposition and demeanor — the essence of who they are, right here at this moment in time. A silhouette presses pause and helps you take it all in.

MVPs | Most Valuable Purchases of 2022

2022 in the rear view and whewww — I feel like I’m still in the middle of a giant exhale after a year of being in straight up survival mode, stretched so beyond thin. I’m finding my footing and seeing the light after a tough, refining season.

2022 required some downsizing and I’ve been open in sharing our simplification journey and the reasons behind all of that — and as a result, the way I approach making purchases big and small. The goal is intentionality and practicality, to end up with things that don’t make me feel like I’ve settled.

So in no particular order, I’m sharing some favorites that come to mind from 2022. My MVPs if you will - Most Valuable Purchases. Things I truly adore, have found useful, use all the time and think you might, too!

---

Bogg bag

Am I totally late to the Bogg bag game? Yes. But oh my gosh, this thing got used so much this past year. I snagged the Olive You color I’d been eyeing and it went everywhere with us all summer. Is it a lot to spend on a bag that looks like Crocs? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. So nice to not worry about wet towels or swimsuits, dirt, crumbs, etc. Just wipe or wash it! And it’s been great for bringing toys, books, and bulkier things on the road with us if we need to - the structured shape means it doesn’t fall over or collapse like a normal tote and makes it easy to toss things in.

Black sneakers

I’d been searching for shoes to wear with athleisure and wasn’t necessarily looking for a darker pair, but when I tried these on with my favorite leggings, I ended up loving the black-on-black look. Comfy, classic, versatile — these neutral Adidas shoes are my new go-to for everyday wear. I’d go a half or full size down on these, fyi!

6 for $16 undies

2022 was the year I finally broke up with Victoria’s Secret — we had a nice 20 year run (WHAT! for real though - circa 2002) but the price had gone up and quality has gone down and it was time. I found this set of lace trim thongs from Amazon and wish I would’ve made the switch sooner! The lace doesn’t get stretched out, they wash great, feel great… love.

Luna oil

When I tell you this stuff has transformed my skin… I had been sleeping on this retinol face oil, until I was gifted a sample size and fell in love, and now I’m literally sleeping on it every night. I legit look forward to putting this on every night before bed (it smells divine) and you only need a few drops - the smaller bottle lasted me 7 months. I’ve pared my skincare products down to just a few products and this one for sure made the cut. It’s so good!

American Cowboys book

This American Cowboys coffee table book is a treasure. It’s BIG and gorgeous inside and out – incredible photography, beautiful short stories, and essays by Taylor Sheridan. So happy to have this in my collection!

My Kader Boly print (also a gift from andrew) should’ve made this list too, but i feel like it’s in a league of its own. it’s a stunner and the sentimental value behind it makes it stand out from the rest.

Matted frames

2022 was also the year I got my crap together and finally got more photos displayed throughout our home, using these 16x20 matted to 8x10 frames. Seriously, I have nine of these in various spots in our house and am contemplating a few more. I have Rustic Brown and White but they also come in Walnut and Natural. They’re beautiful. If you don’t want to spend Pottery Barn money but appreciate the Pottery Barn gallery frame look, these are what you’re looking for.

Jennifer Zeuner hoops

In my blog about purging our home and prioritizing simplicity, I talked about paring down my jewelry collection and essentially starting over, slowly rebuilding with timeless pieces. These Jennifer Zeuner 2-inch gold hoops were my first post-purge purchase and I couldn’t be happier with them. They’re big enough to be eye-catching but so lightweight and versatile — they pair perfectly with a casual outfit just as much as a dressy one and the cost per wear makes these more than worth it.

GreenPan set

After lottttts of research on non-toxic, non-stick cookware, we finally ditched our old, scratched up pots and pans this past year and replaced everything with this GreenPan stainless steel set. The sizes are perfect, they’re durable but not too heavy, and cleaning them is a breeze. Money well spent, for sure.

$15 sunglasses

Last but not least, these $15 Amazon aviators had to make the list. I’ve been so impressed with these! They come in several colors.

It’s been refreshing this year to approach purchases with intention - if that means researching, I research until I’m sure. If that means waiting, I’ll wait - because at least I’m not settling or adding things to my home that won’t be staying for the long haul. Hoping to do more of the same in 2023!

Our Favorite Baby and Toddler Board Books

For Christmas this year, as a way to help curb the influx of STUFF that inevitably accompanies the holidays, I’m sticking to the “Want Wear Need Read” idea for gifts within our immediate family. Something you want, something you’ll wear, something you need, and something to read. So I’m on the hunt for a few new books to add to our collection - board books, preferably, for obvious reasons (#toddlers) - and thought I’d share which ones we’ve loved in case you’re looking, too. These are our tried and true favorites for ages 0-3!

I left out the classics here that most of us have on our bookshelves already - the ones we all know and love. The ones below are some I’d never heard of before we entered the baby years. These win our vote for best board books for babies and toddlers. Are there any we missed? Let me know in the comments!

Animal Board Books for Babies

Some of our very favorite bedtime stories right here. The three on the top shelf are just beautiful - the words, the illustrations, everything. The ones on the bottom shelf are sweet and silly and always get some giggles. We love the lessons in Llama Llama, too!

Our Favorite Baby and Toddler Book Series

Our babies go wild for the “You’re My Little” books - I think we have 4 or 5 more of them not pictured and we’ve read them constantly since Steele was tiny. They’re precious! Short and sweet. We’ve loved collecting them as new ones and holiday editions come out.

The Little Blue Truck books are so well done. The way the words flow, the illustrations, the life lessons toddlers can understand, the humor – they’re wonderful!

Construction and Farm Board Books

It wouldn’t be a baby boy bookshelf without some construction books, and these three are my top faves. All of them are rhyming and are so fun to read - Busy Builders introducing days of the week is a bonus! For our top farm books, Goodnight Tractor is imaginative and adorable, and we love lifting the flaps to say goodnight to alllllll the farm animals in Night Night Farm.

Christmas Books for Babies and Toddlers

Of all the Christmas books we have for the kids, I’d say these three have been read the most. The top two are pretty simple, nothing deep, but super cute. God Gave Us Christmas explains the meaning of the holiday so well in a captivating way for toddlers. We have several in the God Gave Us series - one about Easter, one about new siblings (God Gave Us Two) – they’re longer reads but so beautifully done.

Baby Books About Family

Thank You God for Mommy and Daddy are fun reads but I also appreciate how they have subtle nods to the ways God designed moms and dads differently - nurturing, caretaking, protecting, providing, etc. The ABCs of Kindness is one of Steele’s favorites and a great way to introduce concepts like inclusion and forgiveness. And A Twin Is to Hug is a MUST for any twin moms out there. The sweetest book about the uniqueness and the bond twins share and it makes me smile every time!

Christian Board Books for Babies and Toddlers

I absolutely LOVE the Little Hearts book series. They’re so fun to read together but also a great way to introduce overarching Bible themes along with colors, numbers, letters and animals. Can’t recommend these enough!

Sweeter Than the Sweetest Honey helps toddlers understand what the Bible is and why we read it – the truths in this one are spot on and presented so well. The first time I read When I Pray for You to Steele, I had giant tears flowing down my cheeks by the end of it, and it still gets me choked up every time. SO, so good.

Best Books to Give as a Baby Shower Gift

If I were headed to a baby shower soon, I would order a copy of both of these to give to a new mama. Of all the ones on our shelves, these stand out to me as ones worthy of gifting. They’re not super well known, so you don’t run the risk of duplicates, and my gosh, they are just the most beautifully written books that parents, babies and toddlers alike will all enjoy.

When I helped host a friend’s shower this spring, we had a copy of I Promise You out on a table with a sharpie for people to leave notes in and sign – it has quite a bit of white space on each page so it’s perfect for that! Having a book for attendees to sign at baby showers and first birthday parties is one of my favorite hosting tips. My baby shower hostesses did it for me and still to this day I love reading it to the kids and seeing what each person wrote. Such a special way to do a guest book that doubles as a keepsake.

Hope this list helps you find some new reads the whole family will love!

Brunch with the Brother Bears | Brown Bear Themed First Birthday Party

We’ve called Hayes and Shep our “brother bears” from the very beginning and since Brown Bear, Brown Bear is one of our favorite books to read, I knew from the time they were tiny I wanted a bear-themed first birthday party with the Eric Carle bear. A big brunch for our sweet twin boys, with friends and family who came from all over to celebrate with us made for a pretty unbeatable morning!

Here’s a roundup of what we served for our Brown Bear Brunch - scroll for details and recipes below.

FOOD
Waffle + pancake bar with toppings
Chicken + waffles with Chick Fil A nuggets
Fruit salad
Sausage balls
Teddy trail mix
Custom cookies
Birthday cake + smash cakes

DRINKS
Beary Sweet Lemonade in honey bear cups for the kids
Mama Bear Mimosas + juice bar
Bear’s Bubbly - apple cinnamon champagne cocktail
Honey Bear - bourbon citrus sage cocktail

SHOP THIS POST HERE:

Brown Bear Birthday Party Ideas

I wanted a fun drink for the kids served in honey bear cups and found a few recipes for honey-sweetened strawberry lemonade that I combined into this one. I’d never made simple syrup before but it really was simple! You can make it a few hours ahead of time or the day before and let it chill in the fridge.

Beary Sweet Lemonade - makes 16 honey bear cups
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup honey
1 tablespoon brown sugar
4-5 sliced strawberries
Simply Lemonade

Bring the water, honey, sugar and strawberries to a boil, turn down and let simmer for a few minutes until berries soften, then strain the berries and let the syrup cool in a mason jar. The morning of the party I poured the syrup into all the honey bears (just eyeballed it), filled up the rest of the cups with Simply Lemonade and popped in a kraft paper straw. So yummy and they were a big hit with the kids!

Having a book for guests to sign is a cute way to incorporate a keepsake at baby showers or birthday parties. It’s so fun to read back with your kiddos later and remember who came to celebrate!

I wanted a welcome poster to carry the theme through the main table area. Office Depot will print posters (1-2 day turnaround if you pick up in store) for about $15, depending on size. I had all of our food labels, banner letters and signage printed on cardstock at Office Depot too and picked them up with the poster. So handy!

Morgan of Cowtown Cookie Co. in Fort Worth made the cookies for Steele’s first birthday and I knew I wanted her cookies for the boys’ first birthday, too. I told her the theme and the font I’d used on the invites and she went to work. She is just so talented!

Teddy Trail Mix Recipe

-Pretzel snaps
-Honeycomb cereal
-Teddy Grahams
-Mini marshmallows
-Butterscotch chips
Combine in amounts to your liking and mix well.

The waffle + pancake bar was such a fun way to serve brunch to a house full of people. We had about 35 guests, and I was worried about getting enough waffles toasted in time/keeping them warm, but we borrowed a second toaster from a friend, toasted 4 at a time that morning and kept them warm in the oven until right before serving time. For the pancakes, we just did oven-bake mini pancakes. We had 2 boxes of 24 buttermilk waffles + 1 big box of mini pancakes and had more than enough to go around. It all turned out great!

Waffle Bar Topping Ideas

• chopped fruit (bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries)

• cinnamon

• peanut butter

• chocolate syrup

• caramel syrup

• regular syrup + butter

• Nutella

• Reddi Whip

• ricotta or whipped cream cheese

• mini chocolate chips

• butterscotch chips

• mini marshmallows

• sprinkles

• bacon crumbles

We also had a big fruit salad and sausage balls, along with “chicken and waffles” - mini waffles and Chick Fil A nuggets on a toothpick - these were gone in about 5 minutes! I probably should’ve gotten the medium size nugget tray instead of small (120 vs 64), and you could really do 1 mini waffle per nugget instead of 2. Lots of guests put nuggets on their big waffles too, so you could even forego the mini waffles and just have the nuggets as a topping option for your waffle bar.

When I was searching for bear-themed beverages, I came across this bourbon drink called the Honey Bear - it’s sweetened with oranges and a honey/sage leaf simple syrup. I tweaked/simplified a few different recipes to come up with our own version and it was DIVINE.

Honey Bear Citrus Sage Simple Syrup

makes enough for 16-20 servings
-1 cup water
-1 cup honey
-1 tablespoon brown sugar
-half an orange, squeezed
-10-12 sage leaves

Combine all ingredients, bring to a boil, turn down and let simmer for a few minutes until honey and sugar are dissolved. Strain and store liquid in a mason jar to cool.

These you can’t really make ahead of time, so I put the syrup in a honey bear cup, wrote the recipe out on a card and let people make their own.

Honey Bear Bourbon Cocktail Recipe

2 oz bourbon over ice
1 oz simple syrup
Stir well, add orange peel and sage leaf for garnish.

Bear’s Bubbly has been a favorite of ours since we had it at our friends’ wedding - it was their signature cocktail named after their dog, Bear, and lemme tell you, you’re gonna want to be drinking this all fall and winter long. The amounts/ratios of the recipe are really up to you (we made a big batch in a pitcher for the party), but it’s pretty hard to mess up - any way you do it, it’s freaking delicious.

Bear’s Bubbly recipe | Champagne-Fireball-Cider Cocktail for fall

-large bottle of Fireball
-bottle of champagne
-jug of apple cider
Mix all in equal parts - add more cider if it’s too strong. Garnish with a rosemary sprig.

I wanted plenty of drink options, so we also had a “Mama Bear Mimosa” bar with Simply Strawberry, Simply Blueberry, Simply Peach, champagne and mint leaves for everyone to make their own mimosas or to just grab some juice!

My sweet Hayes and Shep digging into their smash cakes - they were obsessed! I went the easy route for these and bought ready-made cake slices for $2.98 from the cold section of the store bakery. Cut into a circle shape, cover with more white icing and voila!

The banner and the high chair garlands were both DIYs using this TISSUE PAPER TASSEL TUTORIAL which could not have been easier. You only need one sheet of tissue paper to make each tassel, so 3-4 colors, 1 pack each, was more than enough for this banner and the 2 high chair garlands.

We feasted and cheers’d and celebrated a huge milestone with our baby boys and my heart was so happy all day long. Happy first birthday, sweet brother bears!

Living with Less and Prioritizing Simplicity in Our Home

It’s been a big year around here! As we’re approaching the boys’ first birthday, I’ve been thinking about how we’ve adapted to life with 3 under 3 - shifts we’ve had to make in our routines, our perspectives and our home.

One recurrent theme from this year has been SIMPLIFYING - born out of necessity but then very much an intentional shift. Three littles comes with a LOT of stimulation all day long and requires so incredibly much of my energy, both mental and physical. I could not afford, time-wise or mental health-wise, to also be stressed out by clutter and disorganization in our home, and I’ve really done an overhaul on not just the things we own, but the way I view them.

The goal has never been minimalism. I don’t desire to live with as little as possible. I do desire to only have things in our home that I love and that serve a purpose though, and I’m keenly aware now that every single thing that makes its way into our home 1) is the product of a decision and 2) requires ongoing mental energy. Maintaining it, cleaning it, storing it, inventory - the more you have, the more that effort multiplies.

Mental Prep Work Before Starting to Simplify

Probably important to mention that by nature, I don’t have sentimental attachment to very many things - maybe to a fault. I’ve always been pretty minimal too when it comes to products (makeup/skin/hair etc.) - I know what I like and I stick to it. I don’t have workwear for an office job. And I’ve never been into holiday decorating - outside of our Christmas tree and stockings, our home decor doesn’t change from season to season. These factors alone helped give me a head start on downsizing.

So let me preface all of this with the classic - “you do you.” Let your home reflect your life and the things you love. This is what has worked for us and the methods I’ve personally used to bring more peace, calm, and TIME back to my life in the midst of a very chaotic season. A lot of it probably sounds harsh or extreme, and it is! I had to do some major perspective shifts to get the ball rolling and let go of certain things, literally and figuratively. These were the big ones:

• Certain things serve a purpose for a season. We get to decide when that season is over.

• Not seeing things as what you paid for them. It can be hard to look at something and not see dollar signs, but sometimes you just have to chalk it up to paying for a lesson learned.

• Is it a likely what if? Or an unlikely what if. If keeping something hinges on a what-if, assess the probability. Is the risk really worth the keep?

• Letting go of guilt and feelings of obligation. Once an item enters your home and your possession - you and you alone are in charge of what happens to it.

• Self respect. Say it with me: “I owe myself the respect of not settling.” Things you wear, use, give your energy to… if you look at something and feel hesitation, there’s a reason. And you don’t have to justify that reason to anyone else.

Live Simply by Annie has really insightful, helpful tips (and tough love/hard truths) for working through these things, getting over the hump and letting go of the fear, obligation, and guilt we associate with certain belongings. It’s an ongoing process for me and she’s been a great resource!

Focus Areas for Simplifying Our Home

EXPIRED. Anything expired = gone immediately. Food, medicine, beauty products, cleaning products. The easiest places to start! 

EXTRAS. What are all these extras actually for? What purpose are they serving? 

-Extra towels (not designated guest towels, but extra towels in general). Why? I have one set of favorite towels and a few other sets that sat in the cabinet for 7 years. I held onto them because I thought, “We registered for these. They’re nice. We might use them someday.” Except we really haven’t. I’d always just rather have my favorite set out. If you wash/dry your towels and hang them right back up, what are the extras for? Goes for sheets too.

Everyday use. Fancy. Guest. Fancy Guest. Uhhh - eleven?!

-Dish towels. Hand towels. Beach towels. Kids’ towels. Washcloths. All. the. towels. Keep the ones you really love. Save a few old ones for big spills and messes. Let go of the rest.

-Tote bags. Travel bags. All the bags. Pare it down. 

-Kitchen stuff. Duplicates, damaged, dingy… get rid of or replace.

-Extra cups. Water bottles. Yetis. Mugs. Koozies. Sippy cups. Kid plates. Toddler utensils. Bibs. Oven mitts. It was out of control, and we reach for the same ones over and over anyway. I edited these things ruthlessly. 

-Extras in the junk drawer. You know.

-Manuals. If you’ve ever had an issue with something, do you really go find the manual? Or do you consult Google or YouTube?

VISUAL CLUTTER

We’re working with about 1600 square feet for 5 people and a big dog, and as a mostly-stay-at-home mom, I spend a LOT of time in this house. In order for it not to feel cramped or for me not to go stir crazy, I’ve learned to appreciate decorating with WAYYY less and reducing the visual clutter on walls, shelves, tabletops, etc. We don’t have a lot of trinkets out or little things displayed - less to look at means less to think about + less to keep clean and right now, that’s where I want to be.

One thing I’ve reminded myself over the years as we’ve lived in and decorated a few homes is that not every wall or surface needs something. Don’t settle and buy something just to fill the space. Wait for something you truly love, or decide that it’s fine without anything at all.

TIP — I think a big contributing factor when there’s a cluttered feeling with decor is the scale. It’s hard to go too big. It’s easy to go too small, and then feel like you need more to visually fill the space - whether that’s on a wall, shelf, or table. Art and framed photos, especially. I’ve trained my brain to think “less, but bigger.”

TOY ROTATION

We started a toy rotation system last fall to keep the living room toy situation manageable since we don’t have a playroom. Three baskets total downstairs - Steele’s toys and books on the stair landing (behind the baby gate so brothers stay out of her stuff) and the boys’ toys by the sofa. The rest of their toys stay out of sight, out of mind in clear storage drawers in their closet upstairs, and I rotate things every couple of weeks. It’s a win all the way around! More focused play, less decision overload, easy clean up. Plus when I rotate different toys and books in, they get excited about them all over again. I try to limit things with lots of pieces to a few at a time downstairs, and we pick up once before nap time, once before bed. It’s worth it to me to spend a few minutes a few times a day to have a more peaceful space, and it makes the end of the day pickup more manageable.

WARDROBE

We’ve all done the closet clean out that feels productive for a while, but then you’re still finding shirts you bought in college and jeans you wore 2 pregnancies ago you just can’t seem to part with. I was determined this time to not just make a dent, but pare things down to the point of almost starting over — focusing on quality over quantity and rebuilding a wardrobe that really feels like ME. 32-year-old me, not 25-year-old me.

If I wasn’t sure about something, I physically tried it on and asked myself Does this make me feel confident? If I was shopping right now, today, would I buy this? If the answer to either was no, it was gone. No exceptions. That didn’t leave me with a whole lot - truly, anything I felt meh about, I got rid of. But what’s in there now are all things I truly love wearing. I can see what pieces I could really use now and take my time finding/investing in those things, and put together new outfits with versatile pieces in the meantime. I’ve also learned to be ok with being a repeater and I’ve embraced the idea of having a “signature style.” I know what I feel best in and what looks best on me — colors and styles — and I don’t feel the need to stray too far from that.

The extent of my hanging clothes on a 5 foot raCk. Jeans below and A 24-pair shoe organizer With room to spare, a 4-drawer Bin for swimsuits, hats, shorts, and workout clothes — socks, underwear, pajamas and t-shirts are in our shared dresser.

The extent of my jewelry, aside from my wedding rings, Aggie ring and the dainty gold jewelry I Wear every day.

As for jewelry - again, a ruthless edit. If it’s not something I’d pass down to my daughter or something truly timeless and classic that I reach for on a regular basis, time to go. Even if it was expensive. I got rid of probably 90% of my jewelry, packed certain things away to save for Steele, and invested in a couple things I’d had my eye on for a long time that I now wear day in and day out. 

For anything in my closet or dresser, I asked myself - do I feel any hesitation here? Why? Not in style, not MY style, uncomfortable, doesn’t fit quite right, worn out, tarnished, dingy… if any of those are true, I need to have the self respect to not wear something I don’t feel good in anymore. 

The other side of simplifying

Throughout this process, I’ve gotten more and more honest with myself. If I made a mistake and shouldn’t have bought something when I did - live and learn. Move on from it. Doesn’t mean I need to keep it. Loved it then but don’t love it as much now? It served me for a season and it’s ok for that season to be over. Never really loved it? Not worth your mental energy to hang onto, and now you know better. Over time, the simplifying process started to snowball into other areas - digital spaces (culling/deleting emails and iPhone photos daily, digital photo organization + regular backups, social media follow purge, etc.), our paper filing system, our pantry, our drop zone by the door - less, less, less.

For me, the greatest tradeoff is the headspace and mental capacity I have now to focus on more important things. To buy things with intention and patience and to be EXCITED about what’s in our home. To spend way less time picking up and organizing. To be able to breathe deeply and feel happy when I open my closet or walk into the living room every morning.

The size of our house used to stress me out - when we first found out we were expecting twins, I was overwhelmed thinking about the STUFF that would come with 2 more kids and worrying how we were all going to fit. How would our home not feel cramped 24/7? But after a year of taking intentional steps to simplify, I don’t feel like that any more. We have less in this house now than we did before our boys came along. Our home brings me joy. It’s a place I enjoy spending our days and I really don’t want to leave it anytime soon.

One year into some big changes and it feels GOOD. If you’re feeling stuck when it comes to living with less, decorating with less, or simplifying - message me! This is something I’m really passionate about and I’m always happy to chat.

Three Babies Later... Baby Items We've Loved + Ones We Wouldn't Miss

With lots of friends and clients expecting their first babies or soon to enter that season, I wanted to share some of my very favorite baby items we’ve used over the last few years.

Despite what the internet might tell you, you really don’t need a whole lot for babies, and I was grateful for insight from seasoned mama friends who approached their own registries and purchases with a super practical, minimalist mindset. We joined the three under two club for a while after the arrival of our twin boys and after living and learning a little more this go-round, we actually ended up using even fewer baby items with them than we did with our first. Less truly is more!

That said, these are the items I’d absolutely want on my baby registry if I had to do it all over again with the least amount of stuff possible. If it’s on this list, I’ve loved it times three!

LINKS UPDATED JANUARY 2025!

Favorite Baby Items by Category

SLEEP

Taking Cara Babies sleep class | We bought her sleep course after hearing glowing reviews from several friends and watched the videos before Steele was born, and again before the boys arrived as a refresher. Her classes go beyond sleep training and taught us so much about caring for a newborn in general - schedules, cues, and more. Andrew and I agree it was some of the best money we spent. Moms on Call is another popular course!
MOM TIP: Sleep training is of course a personal decision every family needs to make for themselves, but we’re continually thankful we did it – and surprisingly, it really wasn’t much harder with two than with one! There’s crying involved, yes, but not crying it out - the whole point is to avoid that. Six to eight weeks of implementing her strategies was completely worth the results. They’ve all slept 12 hours in their cribs every night since they were 3-4 months old and fall asleep on their own within minutes, and for our family, it’s been the absolute best scenario all the way around.

Hatch Rest sound machine | Lots of families choose not to use white noise, but we keep the volume pretty low and just helps us not feel like we have to tiptoe around the house when they’re asleep.
MOM TIP: The Better Sleep white noise phone app works great when we’re out and about. I’ll play it through the car speakers if I need them to nap on the go!

Overnight diaper pads | Total game changer. As our babies grew and were taking bigger bottles, they started soaking through their diapers onto their pajamas and sheets overnight. These really do absorb a LOT and they’ve helped all three go 12 hours at night while staying dry.

FEEDING

Nuk Simply Natural bottles | Very affordable compared to other brands, super easy to clean (minimal parts), and they haven’t given us any issues with gas. We bought the standard 9oz size from the get-go and they’ve worked for the entire first year for all 3 babies – no need to buy multiple sizes.
MOM TIP: I stick the lids + nipples in these dishwasher baskets and wash everything on the sanitize cycle overnight, and that’s the extent of our bottle-washing routine! We keep it simple – no need for endless scrubbing or a bulky bottle sanitizer – but we do use these sanitizing bags (also great for breast pump parts) when we know we’ll be somewhere without a dishwasher.

Oxo Tot bottle drying rack | I read reviews about the grass style racks growing mold - no thanks. This one’s been great! Holds a lot and is easy to wash clean.

Oxo Tot forks and spoons | Easy for little hands to hold and the spoon actually holds a good amount - my babies take big bites! Ha.

Silicone bibs | Our only bibs. The fold to catch spills is a must and they’re SO easy to clean. Each kid has 2 and that’s been plenty.

Muslin burp cloths | Thick, large, super absorbent, hold up well in the wash, and inexpensive. I have a kitchen drawer stocked full of these.

Space-saving high chair - our kitchen/dining area isn’t huge, so I wanted a chair that took up the least amount of space possible - bought this kind for Steele and got a matching one before the boys arrived. Love that it’s so compact, easy to clean (I didn’t want anything with fabric padding - it inevitably gets stained and gross over time), the tray is slim so it doesn’t take up a ton of room in the dishwasher, and it has a footrest to encourage correct eating posture - makes a huge difference for babies learning to eat. Can’t beat the price, either. This space-saving option is beautiful, too!

Ingenuity floor seat with built-in tray - we had a Bumbo for Steele but I bought two of these for the boys because I liked the price, color, and built-in tray storage much better. When the boys were sitting up but still little, we took these instead of high chairs when we traveled. Also love that it buckles onto a chair as a booster seat later on!

TRAVEL

Chicco Bravo carrier/car seat base/stroller combo | Had these infant seats for all 3! Great safety ratings, awesome reviews and the entire combo system costs less than a lot of car seats and strollers cost separately these days. We’ve been really happy with it all!

Graco Slim Fit convertible car seat | The winner after lots of research on seats that fit 3-across on a bench seat. This one converts up to a booster and is a fraction of the price of the “luxe” brands. Moms - real talk - no one cares what brand your kid’s car seat is. Price doesn’t always equal safety or comfort, so don’t think you necessarily need to spend more!
MOM TIP: @safeintheseat is a certified car seat expert and a great account to follow for safety tips. As she says - the safest car seat is one that’s installed correctly. Steele is still rear-facing at 3 years old and will be for as long as possible thanks to her advice!

Infantino Flip convertible carrier | This was a hand-me-down that’s quickly become a favorite. To me, it feels a lot more secure than wraps or slings. I tried a few of those but was worried the whole time baby was going to fall out the bottom. This one is very affordable, super easy to put on and feels very secure but not bulky. We bought a second one before the twins arrived!

BATHING + HEALTH

Bath flower | A must for preemies! The regular baby bathtubs (love this simple design) didn’t work for our teeny babies until they hit about 8-9 pounds.

Stelatopia Cleansing Oil | Steele never had any reaction to soaps or shampoos, but for our sensitive skin boys, we’ve tried LOTS of brands and Mustela Stelatopia has been our favorite!
MOM TIP: with Steele, I used to think a bath was a necessary part of her nighttime routine even though I knew she wasn’t really dirty. With the boys, giving both of them a bath every night is just too overwhelming, so we don’t. We bathed them twice a week until they were 8 months old, and now we do just every other night for all 3 unless they’re filthy. Don’t stress yourself out over bath time - fewer baths is better for their skin anyway.

Triple Paste | The only diaper rash cream I bought the second time around. Nothing compares. A little goes a long way - the big container lasted us a year!

Butt spatula | No sticky hands – just spread the cream, wipe the excess off on the clean diaper and you’re done!

Vicks Speed Read Thermometer | The hospital recommended an underarm thermometer (better accuracy) for the boys after their NICU stay. We’ve liked this quick read one!

MISCELLANEOUS

SnuggleMe Organic | Used this alllll the time for the first 4 months. I prefer the SnuggleMe over the Dock-a-Tot because it really does snuggle them in close and tight – the middle piece of fabric is suspended and taut, so when you lay baby on it, it pulls the sides in close. Big fan of the generic off-brand covers vs. the brand name, but definitely get some sort of cover because washing the lounger itself is a pain.

Piano play mat | Bought a second one for the boys so they could each have their own – not sure what exactly it is about this thing that’s so magical but it kept all 3 of mine entertained for many, many hours throughout their first year.

Fat Brain toys | Again, not sure what’s so magical here but a favorite for all 3 babies.

Foam tile floor mat | Wish I would’ve found this sooner! Love the neutral colors, it’s big for the price and so nice for the learning to sit/crawl phase.

Name Bubbles labels | The Daycare Pack of name labels comes with a good variety of sizes. We’ve had these on cups, nap mats and extra pairs of clothes for 2 years now and never had an issue with any coming off in the dishwasher or washing machine. Love these!

I can think of a few other items we used quite a bit (pack n plays, diaper bags, bassinets, baby gates, stand-up activity center, bouncy chairs) but I just didn’t love ours enough to put them on this list.

Baby Items We Didn’t Use

Here’s what I purged or didn’t end up using like I thought I would:

Socks and mittens - they just do not stay on those tiny hands and feet! Ha. Most of our onesies had the fold-over built-in mittens and we kept blankets over their legs and feet, so they weren’t necessary anyway.

A million pacifiers and clips - for some reason, pre-babies, I thought we’d need a TON of pacifiers. Not the case. Three or four (a couple for the house, a couple for the car/diaper bag) was plenty.

Diaper pail - we ended up getting rid of ours after the boys were born. With 2x the diapers, it filled up so quickly and changing the bags became more of a hassle than it was worth. And the refills are expensive! We got a separate trash can with a good lid for stinky diapers and keep it in the garage.

Wipe warmer - some swear by it. My kids never minded a cold wipe, and the wipes only stay warm for a few seconds anyway, so this was one less thing I wanted on the changing table.

Fancy pajamas - I got a few pairs of really nice, stretchy bamboo pajamas for Steele, and don’t get me wrong, they were great. I just couldn’t bring myself to spend $40 a pair on pajamas for two growing, messy baby boys, so we skipped those this time around. Whichever PJs you get, ZIPPER is key.

Baby detergents and baby dish soap - truly, a marketing ploy.

Sleep sacks - I feel like we might be the only family in America that doesn’t use sleep sacks. We did use Merlin’s Magic Sleep Suits with all 3 to help them transition out of the swaddle once they could roll over, but after that, just PJs. Tons of people love sleep sacks, but definitely not a necessity.

Baby swing/Mamaroo - nothing against them, we just didn’t have the space. A bouncy chair always worked fine and is a lot easier to move around the house.

Baby Brezza - loved by many, but for us it didn’t save enough time or effort to be worth the cost or counterspace. If you’re breastfeeding/pumping and needing to warm stored milk, a bottle warmer is probably worth having, but for our formula babies, we followed the advice of a friend to feed them room temp bottles from the start, so we don’t own a warmer, either. We’ve always kept a big water dispenser in our pantry filled with distilled or purified water for bottles.

Hook-on travel high chair - way more trouble than it’s worth, IMO. Used it maybe once, ever.

Owlet Smart Sock - everyone is different, but for me personally, the Owlet was stressful. I didn’t use one with Steele and never thought twice about it, but one of the twins had some apnea/oxygen issues in the NICU, so I borrowed an Owlet sock from a friend when we brought him home for peace of mind. It helped calm my nerves for about a week, but after that, it ended up making me more hyperaware, anxious, stressed, etc., and wasn’t the easiest to put on correctly anyway (I got a lot of error readings), so I put it back in the box and decided it wasn’t for us.

Boppy pillow - I didn’t find it comfortable or helpful for feeding (I may be in the minority on that) so we didn’t keep it. We did get the Twin Z pillow for the boys though, and that’s been a life saver for simultaneous bottle feeds and support while they were learning to sit!

---

That’s a wrap on my very favorite items for newborns - ones I’ve used threefold and would buy again if I had to! Did I miss anything? Share your faves in the comments! Hopefully this list can help you in some small way!

To the Mom of a Toddler and Twins on the Way

Mama, I keep thinking about you! Eight months into life with twins and a toddler, I keep thinking about the things I wish someone would’ve told me, and the things I’ve taken away from this journey so far. I know your heart is racing with worry and exhaustion those last few weeks of carrying those babies, and I hope you’re feeling so loved and cared for as you get ready to meet them. I hope you feel some peace amidst the unrest.

You’ll soon find out - your situation is not something anyone else can really understand unless they’re living it. For better or for worse. You’ll be annoyed when people say “Mine are close in age, so I get it.” Nope. It’s not the same. You have two tiny humans needing you in the exact same ways, at the exact same time, all day every day — oh and a toddler, too. You’ll feel alone in your struggles pretty often. Or maybe that you’re so entrenched in motherhood these days that you begin to lose sight of the you that exists beyond these precious babies.

I’ve had some of my hardest, darkest days in this season. The sensory overload is real and beyond overwhelming. Touched out, cried out, trying to function in a constant state of chaos, give a damn busted, guilt over said give a damn being busted… but also days where I’ve never felt stronger or more capable in my entire life. Taking two or even three somewhere by myself sounds so simple, but man, you’ll feel like a badass when you get the hang of going places with them, without help. Or when they’re all fed, occupied and happy at home and maybe you can enjoy a cup of coffee with only one reheat instead of three. You’ll feel on top of the world!

This year has refined me so much - iron in the fire. Coming home from the hospital leaving two babies in the NICU an hour away. Powering through tasks that I didn’t give a second thought to with one baby but feel straight up daunting with two (or three). On the days I’ve felt like I had nothing else to give. Not an ounce. When I’ve taken deep breaths and given myself pep talks as I dig in a little deeper, mentally and physically, just to be able to just make it to the next nap. When I take a step back, I know it’s all refining me. As a mom, a wife, a human.

All I can tell you is to let yourself release every expectation that flashes through your mind. Let go of all the “shoulds.” That’s been the hardest part for me. Especially when I compare the twins to my oldest and think things like “I should be doing more with them. I did so much with her.” Outings. Activities. Baby led weaning. Reading. Snuggling. All of it. Let it go and embrace the bare minimum sometimes. You’ll all be better for it. What worked for one might not make sense for two. These babies’ first year just won’t look like your oldest’s did - there’s no way it could! Different but still wonderful. No one is giving out Mom awards. Everyone just gets a participation trophy here, so take advantage. Do what you need to do to make it through each day and let that be good enough. All three of your babies are still so loved. That’s truly all that matters.

Remember the oxygen mask rule. Always put yours on first. Set a crying baby down and go pee. Brush your hair. Brush your teeth, please. Eat lunch. Take a sip of water. Take a breath. Let the laundry pile stay unfolded and sit down for five whole minutes. Our culture has gone a little far with the whole over-glorification of motherhood as martyrdom and the self care obsession, but at the same time - don’t neglect your basic needs, mama. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

This isn’t for the faint of heart. You’ll wish every single day that you had an extra set of hands. Or that you could sneak in a nap while your babies all nap, just one time, but the to-do list will win out and you’ll try to be productive. You’ll lie awake for hours at night even though you’re exhausted because that’s when your brain and your shoulders can finally decompress. Every new phase of your twins’ babyhood will present its own challenges, as will trying to parent and disciple a toddler while your attention and patience are both spread thin. You’ll all make it through. Lean on your support system. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or just to vent. Ditch the comparison game. Embrace the chaos and the mess. Get a Twin Z pillow. Do whatever you need to do to make life easier for yourself. Spend one on one time with your oldest. Say the words “oh well” more often.

You can do hard things!

Love,
A mom in the thick of it.

P.S.
Not sure if this was so much a letter to you as it was another pep talk to myself. Either way - cheers to us, mama.

Bullard Boys | Newborn Photos

The Bullard boys are HOME! Hayes McCall and Harrison Shepler (Shep) joined us September 3, 2021, at 9:25 and 9:26 in the morning, weighing 5lbs 9oz and 4lbs 11oz. Both boys needed a little help maintaining their body temps, taking full feeds without wearing themselves out, and making sure they were breathing steady without any apnea episodes. Our two-week NICU stay wasn’t fun (especially with a one-hour commute to the hospital) but they’re home at last and we’re living in a state of exhausted bliss, still not quite believing these three kiddos are ours. Big sister has had a little bit of a tough time adjusting and doesn’t love when mom and dad are holding the boys and don’t have any free hands left for her, but when either of her brothers cry she’s sure to let us know. I think she’ll warm up to them before long.

I was trying to remember if I ever even blogged Steele’s newborn photos and discovered I blogged a few of them here, along with our picks for must-have baby items. So far, this list still holds true with twins, too!

Without further ado, here are our boys and their sweet big sister. How lucky are we to call them ours.

My Subchorionic Hemorrhage Story

Ok, last of the pregnancy blogs, I promise. But this is a huge part of our pregnancy journey and one I definitely wanted to share because when I was going through this terrifying experience, it was so hard to find ANY positive personal stories. I want women going through this to know that it CAN have a positive outcome.

I do want to note - parts of this story are graphic and talk about the raw fear of pregnancy loss and I know that can be really hard to read. I am fully aware that the emotions I went through and the emotions someone who has miscarried go through are not the same, and I want to be sensitive to those who have experienced that loss and grief. My heart goes out to you.

I don’t have any photos of the graphic stuff and wouldn’t share that on the internet anyway, so I’ll share a few more of our announcement photos instead (thank you Taylor).

What is a subchorionic hemorrhage?

A hematoma is a bruise, or a pooling of blood. A subchorionic hematoma is a pooling of blood between the walls of the uterus and surrounding membranes. This can happen when the placenta separates slightly from the uterine wall and that gap fills with blood. A subchorionic hemorrhage is when that hematoma bleeds out - when the blood or clot passes out of the body. I’ve read that subchorionic hematomas and hemorrhages are more common in IUI and IVF patients (we did IUI). I could never get a clear answer about why that is, but with the invasive nature of those procedures, it makes sense.

Hemorrhage #1

So I actually experienced two different subchorionic hemorrhages during my pregnancy. The first was at 6 weeks. We were at the lake with some close friends and that night after we’d shared the news, I felt the sensation that I’d peed my pants a little. I thought, “Wow, that whole loss of bladder control thing sure happens quick!” until I looked down and saw the crotch of my shorts was bright red. Everything you read about bleeding during pregnancy says pale pink or dark brown blood isn’t concerning, but bright red is not good. I ran to the bathroom and more bright red blood came out. I felt so foolish, JUST having told our friends a few minutes earlier, and thought for sure this meant the worst. But I wasn’t in any pain, the bleeding had stopped after one trip to the bathroom … there wasn’t much I could do and I figured going to urgent care at that point would be pretty pointless. That was a Saturday. Our first sonogram appointment was the following Wednesday, so we just decided to wait things out. We went in with the lowest expectations and were shocked to hear a heartbeat. Our 6.5 week baby was just fine! They saw the hematoma, which was tiny at that point, but they didn’t seem concerned at all, and by our follow up at 9 weeks it looked like it had cleared up! So we definitely were not expecting what happened next…

Hemorrhage #2

I was 12 weeks along, standing in the kitchen cooking dinner when out of nowhere, I just started gushing blood. Similar to the first time in that I had no cramps and no pain, but different in that this wasn’t a little bit of blood - it was a full-on stream. Like if you’d turned on a water faucet to where it goes from slightly more than a drip to a steady flow - coming out of me, non-stop. All over me, all over the floor. I screamed for Andrew to come from the other room and we immediately went into problem-solve mode, grabbing old towels and calling our nurse practitioner friend. Once Andrew got off the phone with her and told me she’d said to go to the ER, the panic set in. I was sitting on the kitchen floor (which at this point looked like a crime scene) just bawling my eyes out, telling Andrew I was so sorry. I knew I hadn’t done anything to cause this, but all I could think to do was apologize because I was certain our baby was gone.

Passing a Subchorionic Hemorrhage Clot + Bleeding Out

I went to the toilet and more blood just dumped out, along with a gigantic piece of what I thought was bodily tissue. A thick piece of tissue resembling muscle, almost the size of my palm and at first glance, I thought the absolute worst. I couldn’t even look - I just screamed. Andrew looked more closely and reassured me it was just a blood clot from the hematoma, but I thought there’s absolutely no way something that large could come out of me and my baby still be okay. I bawled and he hugged me tightly for a minute before we gathered more towels and headed to the ER.

Walking up to the ER at the hospital, I had a towel stuffed in my shorts and could still feel blood coming out of me every few steps. The ER was packed that night and because I was only 12 weeks along, my bleeding wasn’t considered urgent, so they gave me some maxi pads, told me to have a seat and wait. So we did, for two hours, until I could get an ultrasound.

The ER sonographer warned me that he wasn’t allowed to comment on anything he saw. I couldn’t see his screen. All he could do was observe, tell the doctor his findings and the doctor would go over things with me later. Except when I laid down on the table, staring at the wall, he leaned over to me and smiled and said, “I’m really not supposed to tell you this, but your baby still has a heartbeat.” He turned his screen to us and we saw baby moving around. Cue more sobbing - this time, tears of (confused) happiness. Andrew and I have never been more relieved, but we still didn’t know if our baby would be okay and why all this bleeding was happening, again.

Multiple Subchorionic Hematomas + A High Risk Pregnancy

We left the ER that night having learned I’d developed another hematoma - a much bigger one this time - and when that giant clot broke loose, I’d hemorrhaged. That whole night, more blood kept coming. Not just a few drops here and there but profuse gushes. I was amazed that I could lose that much blood and not feel any pain or dizziness, but I guess since it wasn’t technically part of my blood stream (or baby’s, thankfully), losing it didn’t affect me directly. They advised me to see my OB for a follow up the next day, and that sonogram showed a pool of blood about half as big as my amniotic sac. A couple of weeks later at another ultrasound (my OB wanted to keep a close eye on the situation), it had gotten even bigger. Not as big as the sac, which was a good thing, but for sure the size of our baby, which was terrifying. She referred me to a high risk OB (MFM) at that point and I before I could leave the parking lot post-appointment, I lost it. Hearing you’re considered high-risk is scary. I called one of my best friends who had a high-risk pregnancy herself and she immediately calmed my fears, assuring me I would be in the BEST hands possible from now on.

I don’t have a sonogram picture from when the clot was at its biggest (10cm), but the black area outlined in red shows the blood pool at 14 weeks - 6cm long - nearly the size of Baby!

Bedrest for Subchorionic Hematoma + Hemorrhage

Both my OB and the MFM told me there was technically nothing I could do to help heal a subchorionic hemorrhage, but bedrest was advised and couldn’t hurt. So I rested. For 5 weeks, I did nothing except go from my bed, to the couch, to the bathroom, back to the couch, back to bed. I worked from my laptop downstairs so I didn’t have to climb the stairs to my office. I canceled the photography jobs I had lined up and made sure not to lift anything remotely heavy (one time I did pick up a full gallon of milk and immediately felt blood gush out). Even just walking with the subchorionic hemorrhage would cause me to bleed sometimes. I tried just to lay on my side as much as possible (my hematoma was on the upper right side of my uterus, so I laid on my left side so the hematoma was elevated - not sure if that really made a difference but it was a mentally helpful thing for me). Andrew stepped up so selflessly and took care of everything around the house for us. Sweet friends sent care packages and meals and made us feel so, so loved.

How I Knew my Subchorionic Hematoma was Healing

For 5 weeks, I wore Depends AND a maxi pad (how cute) and sat on old towels on pretty much every surface of our house. From the day the “big bleed” happened on July 11 until August 16, I bled every single day - enough each day to fill multiple pads. I had a feeling the hematoma was healing when I started bleeding slightly less and less each day, but it was almost 6 weeks before I went a whole day with no blood. I had an appointment with the MFM on August 19th and felt hopeful!

Finally, after a very reassuring anatomy scan where our baby showed to be developing right on target despite 5+ solid weeks of bleeding, my doctor went all over my stomach with the wand and couldn’t see a thing. The blood had vanished. At one point around 16 weeks, the clot had grown to 10cm long, and now it was gone - what I hadn’t bled out had been reabsorbed by my body. I was amazed. We’d had so many people praying and I truly felt those prayers covering us. I have zero doubt that they made a difference.

Staying Optimistic

What’s on the internet regarding SCH can be scary. They can sometimes lead to complications and pre-term labor, and once a placenta separates from the uterine wall, that spot doesn’t reattach and that can be risky.

Nothing in my entire life had tested or strengthened my faith like this ordeal did. Bedrest sure didn’t hurt (although it wasn’t fun), and I do think staying off my feet as much as possible helped. But I truly do think that guarding my thoughts, not letting myself spiral into the what-ifs, and starting to pray whenever I felt scared made the biggest difference. I didn’t want my mental stress to turn into more physiological stress for me or for my baby.

I prayed constantly and said positive affirmations, out loud, multiple times a day, until I started believing them. I am safe. My baby is safe. God is in control and He is good no matter what. Psalm 139 became my lifeline.

FAQ About SCH

Since originally writing this post, I’ve connected with countless mamas going through this. If you’re dealing with the fear and unknowns of an SCH during pregnancy, you are not alone! I am not a doctor or medical professional so please don’t take anything in this post as medical advice. This is all from my personal experience or research via trustworthy sources (Mayo Clinic, etc.). Every pregnancy is different, so consult your OB or Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctor, but these are the common questions I’ve seen.

How long does a subchorionic hematoma take to heal?

Sometimes subchorionic hemorrhages heal and resolve after a few weeks, some take a few months, and some never resolve throughout the entire pregnancy. I bled heavily for about 4 weeks and then less and less each day - 6 weeks total.

Were you prescribed any medication for subchorionic hemorrhage?

No. Both my OB and MFM told me there is no medicine to heal SCH. I did take progesterone at the very beginning of my pregnancy to keep my hormone levels where they needed to be to sustain the pregnancy (at the direction of my fertility doctor) but I finished taking the progesterone before my SCH ever happened.

When does a subchorionic hematoma become dangerous?

My MFM told me we wanted the SCH to stay smaller than the amniotic sac (not the size of the baby but the size of whole sac itself). This is something I prayed about specifically!

Are there any foods to heal a subchorionic hemorrhage?

Not that I’m aware of. I just tried to eat very nutrient-dense foods to support my body’s ability to heal. Toward the end of my pregnancy, after my SCH had healed, my MFM recommended supplementing with high-calorie shakes daily or twice daily to help with baby’s growth.

Does passing a clot mean a subchorionic hematoma is healing?

I passed a big clot on day one - my “big bleed.” My understanding is that passing a clot causes the hematoma to start bleeding and technically then it becomes a hemorrhage. I think this is probably different for everyone. I’ve heard of some women not ever passing any clots at all, just bleeding.

Signs a subchorionic hemorrhage is resolving?

I knew my SCH was healing when I started bleeding less and less each day (around week 4 after the big bleed). The blood got darker (more brown than red) too. I still stayed on bedrest until the bleeding completely stopped, and even after that, I continued to not exercise or lift heavy things throughout my entire pregnancy.

Will I have another subchorionic hematoma if I get pregnant again?

Possibly. My MFM said there’s no way to know if it will happen again, but there is a decent chance and if I do get pregnant again, I will be considered high risk from the start and will be monitored more frequently.

Was your baby ok in the end?

YES! See our update below :)

---

UPDATE

It’s May 2020 - our baby is now 4 months old! Let me preface this with EVERYTHING IS FINE. But I did want to be totally transparent and share the rest of our journey with a subchorionic hemorrhage. After the bleed disappeared at 18 weeks, we continued seeing our high risk OB frequently to monitor her growth, since placenta issues at any point during pregnancy can hinder growth. I went in for non-stress tests twice a week to make sure her heart rate was okay, and did ultrasounds every other week to measure her. All was relatively good until mid-third trimester, when she wasn’t making the progress she should’ve been and she was labeled as having IUGR - intrauterine growth restriction. All the second trimester bleeding had damaged my placenta (her source of nourishment) and her measurements dropped from the 10th percentile around 28 weeks to the 6th, to the 4th … until at 34 weeks we went in, saw she’d dropped to the 3rd percentile, which meant she was really not growing at all, and our OB said “You’re having a baby tomorrow!”

We went in for a c-section the next day (34w5d) with a team ready to take her straight to the NICU, but she came out crying, breathing on her own and weighing 4 pounds, 10 oz - 12 ounces more than they thought she’d weigh! She never had to go to the NICU at all. She was tiny but otherwise perfectly healthy and we got to go home 3 days later by the grace of God.

She was born with a small infantile hemangioma (red birthmark) on her cheek, which grew pretty rapidly until our pediatrician referred us at 2 months to a pediatric dermatologist, who put her on oral medication to stop it from getting bigger. If you google “infantile hemangioma placenta theory” you can read about several studies that link placental abnormalities (i.e. subchorionic hemorrhages) to the development of hemangioma birthmarks. It’s fascinating!

Obviously not every subchorionic hemorrhage situation will cause a birthmark and honestly, this superficial issue is not really even an issue at all. We’re just so grateful for a healthy, growing baby. At 4 months, she’s completely caught up to other babies her age both growth and development-wise. She overcame quite a bit and we’re so proud of our strong, tough girl!

If you’re going through a subchorionic hematoma or hemorrhage situation, I hope hearing our story can help you stay positive and optimistic. Stay off your feet as much as possible, don’t lift anything heavy at all, ask for help, and if possible, get a referral to a maternal fetal medicine specialist (high risk OB) who can keep a close eye on things, even if the initial hematoma does clear up. Guard your thoughts and PRAY whenever you feel scared. You’ve got this, mama!

I’d love to connect with you if you’re going through this! Find me on Instagram @kaitlynbullard_

Believe it, Proclaim it | How We Shared Our Baby News

When we were in the middle of our pregnancy journey, I messaged a mom I’d been following on Instagram for a while (@marshallpartyofsix) after she mentioned their girls were an IUI success story. I just told her I loved following along, getting to see her precious girls, and that her story gave me hope. In her response she told me she knew how it felt to be in the middle of that struggle and that she always held on to the mantra “Believe it and PROCLAIM it.” So I started doing just that.

It’s a fine line to walk between proclaiming favor on our lives and trusting that God knows what He’s doing - I never wanted to demand something that wasn’t supposed to be part of our story. So I started verbally, audibly proclaiming things like “God, I know you are capable of miracles and I believe You can perform one with me.” “God, You are in control of this outcome and I fully believe this can happen for us.” “God, I believe you have placed this desire to be a mom on my heart for a reason and I know You can see this through.” Saying things like that daily, out loud, helped my confidence in this process immensely.

In February, I shot a wedding in Colorado and as much as I would’ve loved for Andrew to tag along, he couldn’t take off work so I made the trip by myself. When I pulled up to my hotel, wouldn’t you know there was a Carter’s baby store right next door. It felt like a cruel coincidence - the holidays had been hard, our first round of Clomid hadn’t done anything and I was trying not to think about babies 24/7. But that dang store kept taunting me - I went in one night and left with a tiny pair of soft gray baby jogger pants. I felt guilty and stupid for even buying them but I hoped so badly that I’d have a use for them some day.

When the day came that I finally saw those two pink lines in May, I remembered that little pair of pants I’d tucked away in my nightstand. I put them in a paper bag with one of the tests, stuck the bag on our front porch and when Andrew got home, I tried to act preoccupied and told him I thought someone might have dropped off a package outside. I’ll never forget his face of pure shock when he opened that bag!

We wanted to keep the news to ourselves for several weeks, but we had a Memorial Day lake trip with some close friends coming up and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide the secret from them for the whole weekend. I wanted to tell my parents before that happened, and it worked out that I needed to stay with them while I shot a wedding in Austin just a few days after the positive test. Luckily, the fertility clinic was able to get me in for two rounds of bloodwork that week to confirm my HCG levels were in fact doubling, so I felt okay about telling them so soon.

The app One Second Everyday has been a favorite of mine for a while - it takes one-second clips from your Live photos and strings them together into a video, so if you take one photo everyday, it’s such a cool way to watch back and see how the little highlights and moments of each day, even the mundane ones, add up to something really cool. It’s like a little timelapse of life! I’d had my parents watch my 1SE videos a few times before as a way to catch them up on what I’d been up to lately, so I thought it would be a fun way to let them in on our secret. I compiled a video from the past month or so and ended it with a picture of my positive tests as the last clip. The clips go so quickly, my parents didn’t fully realize what they’d seen after the video ended. I had them watch the last few clips again and that time, my mom FREAKED out! She said, “Are those yours?!?” Like I would take a picture of someone else’s … ha! We hugged and cried and my dad got really emotional. It was an awesome moment.

The next few weeks were pretty blissful. I helped throw a baby shower for my college BFF/maid of honor and loved getting to tell her in person and knowing we’d be pregnant at the same time, even if just for a couple of months. We told our friends at the lake with a letterboard (we set it on the patio table and just waited for them to notice). Of course I knew things could happen early on, so I didn’t let myself think too far ahead, but it was so special having this secret only Andrew and I, my parents and a few close friends knew about. Pregnancy is a roller coaster of emotions in general, but we had no idea just a few weeks later, that roller coaster would get a whole lot scarier and “believe it, proclaim it” would take on a whole new meaning.

Two Pink Lines | Our IUI Story

It feels very strange writing this post. Partly because we’re here - we’ve seen the two pink lines, something I was afraid might never happen - partly because I’m afraid talking about it might jinx something - but mostly because I know there are MANY stories with a whole lot more twists and turns and challenges than ours. I know how fortunate we are to be where we are and don’t take it for granted, ever. I’ll go ahead and say that our road to pregnancy wasn’t that long in the scheme of things (one year) but it packed a lot of fear and obstacles that were, quite frankly, terrifying - into that year. I want to share our story for a couple of reasons - so I can remember the steps we went through, but also because I poured over blogs like these when we were in the thick of things and the stories gave me so much to consider and mostly, so much hope. I hope this can do the same.

So let’s start at the beginning…ish. Andrew was set to graduate law school in May of 2018. We’d agreed that we wouldn’t start trying before then because we wanted to make sure he’d at least be employed before we started growing our family. But a year before that, in May of 2017, I’d had it with my birth control pills. Between the acne and bloat and mood swings and all the lovely things that come along with the Pill, I hated feeling like I wasn’t in control of my own body or own emotions, even on the lowest possible dosage. I quit taking it and we agreed to “be careful” for a year. As part of “being careful,” but also out of curiosity, I started tracking my cycles - I had no clue how or if my body would regulate. Little did we know, we probably could’ve been as un-careful as we wanted … #irony.

Surprisingly, my cycle regulated almost immediately. I used the Ovia app to keep track of things and by the time Andrew’s graduation rolled around the next May, I figured getting pregnant should be fairly easy. I could predict things to the day, always knew when my “window” was and never anticipated any issues. A friend had an Ava bracelet she wasn’t using so I started wearing that at night too, just to have an even better idea of my stats.

What is going on

In August 2018, after 14 months of consistent 29-day cycles, that number stretched out to 31 days. 32, 33, 34, 35 … I told myself I’d take a pregnancy test on day 37 (I’m not the person who takes a test the first day they miss. I wanted to be good and sure). I went to bed on day 36 ready to bust out that test the next morning, smiling as I went to sleep because there was no way I could be this late and not be pregnant, right? That morning at 4 a.m. I got a rude awakening - period cramps. What. The heck.

A friend consoled me saying maybe it was a chemical pregnancy that just didn’t take … maybe it’s a super early miscarriage and you really were pregnant. Maybe … there’d be no way for us to ever know. I just wanted September to get here so we could try again. Again, day 30 rolled around … 31, 32, 33 … my hopes rising with each passing day. This time I took a test on day 35. It wasn’t the answer I’d hoped for. Two days later it was a no for sure, and at that point, I knew something was off.

A lightbulb moment

I’ve taken daily medication for an underactive thyroid since I was 11 years old. Got my levels checked every six months and for almost two decades, the medicine had been doing its job. But I had a lightbulb moment when a friend who’d been going through fertility treatments mentioned her underactive thyroid was causing her body to not ovulate, which causes extra long cycles. I put two and two together and figured it couldn’t hurt to have my levels checked again, just in case. I scheduled an appointment with an OBGYN for thyroid bloodwork and an exploratory sonogram, just to be ahead of the game. Sure enough, my thyroid levels had somehow gone awry during the past few months and in fact, I probably hadn’t been ovulating. The OB didn’t find anything concerning on the sonogram, so he adjusted my medication dosage, suggested an HSG (another exploratory test), and sent me on my way.

November. At this point we’d been actively trying for only 6 months. Most fertility clinics won’t even see you until you’ve been trying for at least a year, so I was trying my best to be patient and thankful that the OB at least referred me for the HSG to confirm that it was, in fact, my thyroid causing the lack of ovulation and not a different issue. I went in, they pumped my reproductive system full of dye and a screen lit up, showing my fallopian tubes were open and not blocked - a good thing - but I could see concern on the doctor’s face as he scanned down over my uterus. What should’ve been shaped like an upside down triangle was shaped like a T. My cavity was extremely narrow. The nurse assured me that people with narrow uteruses can still get pregnant, but she didn’t sugarcoat things. It can make things difficult, she told me. I got to my car, called Andrew bawling, and left that day with a referral to a fertility clinic and an overwhelming fear that this may never happen for us.

The waiting room

A couple of weeks later, Andrew and I went for our initial consultation at the fertility clinic (DFW Fertility Associates - we love them). Sitting there in that waiting room with half a dozen other couples, knowing all of you are somehow in the same boat, feeling the same fears, was humbling. I was surprised when we got called back that we first met with the actual doctor in his office, not with a nurse in an exam room. He sat down with us and listened to us explain our health history and findings up to this point. I showed him the scan of my uterus and to my surprise, he said, “Oh, I’ve seen a lot worse. We can work with that.” He assured us he’d do his best to find a solution. Another sonogram with his staff later that afternoon showed something no one had found before - PCOS. Multiple cysts on my ovaries. Nothing a prescription couldn’t help, they said, so after Andrew had completed his part of the exam to make sure everything looked okay on his end, we were cleared to start Clomid in December. Baby steps. I was cautiously optimistic.

With Clomid, a drug that tells your body to produce multiple eggs at a time rather than just one, the calendar is an essential part of the equation. Taking the pills on certain days of your cycle (and doing the deed on certain days, too) is non-negotiable. To complicate things, our clinic required me to do bloodwork on day 3 of my cycle before they’d call in the prescription, just as a precaution. Day 3 that month fell on Christmas Day. With the clinic closed and us out of town with family anyway, we’d missed our chance that month. I put the Ava bracelet away for good and just tried to get through the holidays without thinking about any of it.

Finally, in January, everything was lining up. I’d read about diet affecting fertility, especially PCOS, so I dove head first into Whole 30 that month and finished without cheating. I was determined. Eating all the right things, working out … our test was negative that cycle but I went into February with high hopes and the realization that as long as we were with the fertility clinic, getting my blood drawn would become a very frequent part of life. Seemed like I was back for bloodwork every dang week! After another negative Clomid/Progesterone cycle in February, my follow up bloodwork showed something else concerning. My prolactin levels (a hormone controlling several aspects of fertility) were off the charts, and not in a good way. The clinic referred me for an MRI of the pituitary gland at the base of my brain (where lots of hormones are produced) to check for a benign tumor, a common cause of high prolactin levels, at which point I just had to laugh. I’d gone from thyroid issues causing lack of ovulation, to finding out my uterus was misshapen, to a PCOS diagnosis, to an MRI of my freaking brain. Obstacle after obstacle, and we hadn’t even been at this a year. The MRI did show a tiny nodule on the gland, technically a tumor, that could be causing the high levels but not a concern beyond that. I was put on yet another drug, Coburgilene, to help even out those levels. Our nurse assured us that many, many patients who pair Coburgilene with Clomid get pregnant super quickly. Maybe we were finally on track!

A new approach

Yet again, the calendar had to mess with things. I would be working out of town the weekend we needed to start Clomid and do all of that, so we decided that we’d take March off and come back in April - this time for Clomid and IUI. The way our clinic priced things, we paid $750 for a monitored Clomid cycle (Clomid with one round of bloodwork beforehand to confirm ideal hormone levels + another afterward to confirm ovulation), or we could pay $950 for Clomid plus IUI. That, for us, was a no-brainer. Our insurance covered none of this. Rather than another month of pills and crossing our fingers, why wouldn’t we pay 200 extra dollars for a procedure and give ourselves the best chance, outside of IVF, of conceiving?

I started my pack of Clomid on April 17. A pre-IUI sonogram on April 26 showed the Clomid had worked and I had 4 good follicles with eggs ready to go. The nurse counseled me about the possibility of having multiples if we chose to move forward, but I genuinely didn’t care. I’d take twins, even triplets at this point if it meant getting to be a mom. In hindsight, probably not the smartest logic, but she told me our chance of the IUI working at ALL was 15 percent. Fifteen. Of that, we had a 40% chance of twins and a 20% chance of triplets. Sign me up - no way was I waiting another month just to play the odds again. That night, Andrew gave me a shot in my stomach that forced my follicles to release the eggs. 36 hours later, on a Sunday morning, April 28, we went in for our IUI. I laid there for 10 minutes after the doctor finished, until a timer went off, and then went to our new house to paint all day before our furniture arrived the next week. It was surreal, knowing what we’d just done but going about our normal lives, not having any control over the final outcome.

On May 10, my brother graduated from A&M. That entire morning, I felt extremely bloated - to the point where I had to unbutton my pants under my shirt. I figured it might the two giant breakfast tacos I’d had earlier, but in the back of my mind, I thought ‘PMS.’ Before we went out to lunch to celebrate, I went to the bathroom and saw blood. I was bummed, obviously, but that day was about Ben, not about me, so I fought back tears, put on a happy face and ordered 2 glasses of wine with lunch. For the next 3 days, more blood. It wasn’t as much as I was used to seeing, but it was blood and it’d been there for 4 days. On May 14 a friend texted to check on me and I told her I’d had blood for several days, just not as much as usual. To me, that meant a light period, but she wondered if it could actually be implantation spotting and begged me to take a pregnancy test. I grabbed the cheapest test they make - the paper one that comes with the box of 50 ovulation tests because I just knew it wasn’t worth wasting a perfectly good $8 pregnancy test, and waited.

Two. Pink. Lines.

The most surreal moment of my life. Staring at two tiny lines. One was faint as could be, but it was there. I chugged water and grabbed another test strip. This one was a little bit darker. I still wasn’t convinced. I grabbed a “legit” test - the plastic kind, chugged some more water, and saw two more lines appear shortly after. Still though, I needed to see it in WORDS. I ran to HEB, grabbed the fancy kind that says Pregnant or Not Pregnant in clear, plain English, ran home and waited again … Pregnant. I couldn’t even cry or let myself feel any emotion aside from pure, complete shock.

---

I’ll leave this story here for now … still so much I want to remember about how I told Andrew and my parents, the ugly realization that staying pregnant might be even more of a challenge than getting pregnant, and the road we’ve been down after a terrifying ER trip in July. But for now, I’m just thankful. So beyond thankful we’ve made it to this moment, with a tiny bump and a baby girl inside of me who I can feel rolling around and getting her kicks in late at night. It’s unreal and it’s the best miracle we could’ve ever asked for. Thank you, Lord.

Grateful to have had my sweet friend Taylor N. Photo capture these for us at our 4-year anniversary session!

More to come!