A Bittersweet Goodbye After Ten Years of The Big and Bright
/Ten years ago in April, I shot my first wedding. In two weeks, at the very same venue no less, I’ll shoot my last. And after wrapping up a few more upcoming newborn sessions and three days’ worth of mini sessions this fall, I’m officially hanging up the photographer hat after Thanksgiving, and saying goodbye to this business I’ve poured so much of myself into for the last decade. At least for a long while!
This was not in my plans before this month, but I can’t say it hadn’t been on my heart. Looking back, there are so many ways the Lord was preparing me for this and protecting me from things not meant for me, my family or my business.
family photos by maddie ray
So why walk away now? Fall is always a photographer’s busiest time of year. The majority of my weekends between mid-August and mid-November are booked with some sort of session (I was booking weekdays only for a while, but with Andrew’s job demands and us not having any family close by to help, weekday sessions were becoming harder to make work on my end). As our kids get older, trying to fit my business into the little time we have to spend all together just isn’t feasible or sustainable anymore, even if I were to outsource more. It’s been wearing on my family, not just on me.
Our daughter starting kindergarten and our boys turning 4 this month really hit us hard. It’s all going by so fast. We’re acutely aware that this is the only childhood they get – it’s happening NOW – and we want to make the most of these years with them. We don’t want to look back and have regrets. We realized we can’t keep putting off traveling as a family or getting away for the weekend together, or even just savoring slow Saturdays at home. As I say to my twins all too often, “There’s only one mommy,” and there’s just not enough of me to go around anymore.
Andrew would’ve never asked me to step away, but I knew something had to give in order to prioritize what’s most important to us as our children enter such formative years, and I’ve felt such relief and peace about my decision. I’m sure it was no coincidence that the Sunday after I told him I wanted to call it quits later this fall, the message at church was about the Sabbath and general concept of rest. How God designed it for us, intentionally. The pastor compared it to the concept of tithing – something that in the moment can feel… wasteful? That’s a lot of money (tithing), and a lot of time (setting boundaries with rest) that we could be using productively… building our businesses, more more more… but at what cost? It’s human nature to be stingy with our money and our time, but He wants us to trust Him with both. And when we do, whether we see it or not, the fruits of that trust and obedience are always better than the fruits of our labor.
These last ten years have been more than I ever dreamed. I’ve had the honor of being welcomed into your homes, your wedding days, your surprises and announcements, capturing your families’ milestones, sharing in your biggest and brightest moments, getting to know so many of you and seeing you again and again over the years, from engagement to wedding, maternity to newborn sessions, your first family sessions and your second, third, fourth and beyond. Watching your children and your families grow. Finding an outlet for my creativity that stretched me in the best ways, that kept me inspired and excited about work for an entire decade. That’s something I don’t take for granted and I’ll of course miss those parts and the friends made along the way, immensely.
I’m going to savor this time of being able to focus solely on my family and our home and not worry about keeping up. I’ve been encouraged by some wonderful friends who’ve made similar moves in recent years and have no regrets whatsoever. I’ve learned not too hold too tightly to any plans (it really isn’t up to us anyway), so, as I’ve said a lot over the years – never say never. Who knows what’s in store for the future, but for now, the next several years at least, I’m being pulled to wear my wife and mom hat full time, and I’m so grateful for that.
Thank you for being here – for trusting me, for encouraging me, for every show of support along the way. The Big and Bright has always been about YOU and I hope you cherish the memories we’ve captured together for years and years to come!
To my DFW families looking for someone new: these are, in no particular order, photographers I trust and whose newborn/family work I deeply admire!
Jordan Mitchell
Kristen Howell
Meghan Tidwell
Lakin Stearns
Maddie Ray
Taylor Pettigrew
Ana Dufreche
Tate Smith
Gaby Caskey
This website isn’t going anywhere (not with ten years of photos and blogs!) and I’ll most likely still blog occasionally – I enjoy sharing my favorite finds, our travels, organization tips and the systems that are working for us in our home, and ramblings on motherhood. I share all of those things on my personal Instagram and I’d love to stay in touch with all of you there!
