Ok, last of the pregnancy blogs, I promise. But this is a huge part of our pregnancy journey and one I definitely wanted to share because when I was going through this terrifying experience, it was so hard to find ANY positive personal stories. I want women going through this to know that it CAN have a positive outcome.

I do want to note - parts of this story are graphic and talk about the raw fear of pregnancy loss and I know that can be really hard to read. I am fully aware that the emotions I went through and the emotions someone who has miscarried go through are not the same, and I want to be sensitive to those who have experienced that loss and grief. My heart goes out to you.

I don’t have any photos of the graphic stuff and wouldn’t share that on the internet anyway, so I’ll share a few more of our announcement photos instead (thank you Taylor).

What is a subchorionic hemorrhage?

A hematoma is a bruise, or a pooling of blood. A subchorionic hematoma is a pooling of blood between the walls of the uterus and surrounding membranes. This can happen when the placenta separates slightly from the uterine wall and that gap fills with blood. A subchorionic hemorrhage is when that hematoma bleeds out - when the blood or clot passes out of the body. I’ve read that subchorionic hematomas and hemorrhages are more common in IUI and IVF patients (we did IUI). I could never get a clear answer about why that is, but with the invasive nature of those procedures, it makes sense.

Hemorrhage #1

So I actually experienced two different subchorionic hemorrhages during my pregnancy. The first was at 6 weeks. We were at the lake with some close friends and that night after we’d shared the news, I felt the sensation that I’d peed my pants a little. I thought, “Wow, that whole loss of bladder control thing sure happens quick!” until I looked down and saw the crotch of my shorts was bright red. Everything you read about bleeding during pregnancy says pale pink or dark brown blood isn’t concerning, but bright red is not good. I ran to the bathroom and more bright red blood came out. I felt so foolish, JUST having told our friends a few minutes earlier, and thought for sure this meant the worst. But I wasn’t in any pain, the bleeding had stopped after one trip to the bathroom … there wasn’t much I could do and I figured going to urgent care at that point would be pretty pointless. That was a Saturday. Our first sonogram appointment was the following Wednesday, so we just decided to wait things out. We went in with the lowest expectations and were shocked to hear a heartbeat. Our 6.5 week baby was just fine! They saw the hematoma, which was tiny at that point, but they didn’t seem concerned at all, and by our follow up at 9 weeks it looked like it had cleared up! So we definitely were not expecting what happened next…

Hemorrhage #2

I was 12 weeks along, standing in the kitchen cooking dinner when out of nowhere, I just started gushing blood. Similar to the first time in that I had no cramps and no pain, but different in that this wasn’t a little bit of blood - it was a full-on stream. Like if you’d turned on a water faucet to where it goes from slightly more than a drip to a steady flow - coming out of me, non-stop. All over me, all over the floor. I screamed for Andrew to come from the other room and we immediately went into problem-solve mode, grabbing old towels and calling our nurse practitioner friend. Once Andrew got off the phone with her and told me she’d said to go to the ER, the panic set in. I was sitting on the kitchen floor (which at this point looked like a crime scene) just bawling my eyes out, telling Andrew I was so sorry. I knew I hadn’t done anything to cause this, but all I could think to do was apologize because I was certain our baby was gone.

Passing a Subchorionic Hemorrhage Clot + Bleeding Out

I went to the toilet and more blood just dumped out, along with a gigantic piece of what I thought was bodily tissue. A thick piece of tissue resembling muscle, almost the size of my palm and at first glance, I thought the absolute worst. I couldn’t even look - I just screamed. Andrew looked more closely and reassured me it was just a blood clot from the hematoma, but I thought there’s absolutely no way something that large could come out of me and my baby still be okay. I bawled and he hugged me tightly for a minute before we gathered more towels and headed to the ER.

Walking up to the ER at the hospital, I had a towel stuffed in my shorts and could still feel blood coming out of me every few steps. The ER was packed that night and because I was only 12 weeks along, my bleeding wasn’t considered urgent, so they gave me some maxi pads, told me to have a seat and wait. So we did, for two hours, until I could get an ultrasound.

The ER sonographer warned me that he wasn’t allowed to comment on anything he saw. I couldn’t see his screen. All he could do was observe, tell the doctor his findings and the doctor would go over things with me later. Except when I laid down on the table, staring at the wall, he leaned over to me and smiled and said, “I’m really not supposed to tell you this, but your baby still has a heartbeat.” He turned his screen to us and we saw baby moving around. Cue more sobbing - this time, tears of (confused) happiness. Andrew and I have never been more relieved, but we still didn’t know if our baby would be okay and why all this bleeding was happening, again.

Multiple Subchorionic Hematomas + A High Risk Pregnancy

We left the ER that night having learned I’d developed another hematoma - a much bigger one this time - and when that giant clot broke loose, I’d hemorrhaged. That whole night, more blood kept coming. Not just a few drops here and there but profuse gushes. I was amazed that I could lose that much blood and not feel any pain or dizziness, but I guess since it wasn’t technically part of my blood stream (or baby’s, thankfully), losing it didn’t affect me directly. They advised me to see my OB for a follow up the next day, and that sonogram showed a pool of blood about half as big as my amniotic sac. A couple of weeks later at another ultrasound (my OB wanted to keep a close eye on the situation), it had gotten even bigger. Not as big as the sac, which was a good thing, but for sure the size of our baby, which was terrifying. She referred me to a high risk OB (MFM) at that point and I before I could leave the parking lot post-appointment, I lost it. Hearing you’re considered high-risk is scary. I called one of my best friends who had a high-risk pregnancy herself and she immediately calmed my fears, assuring me I would be in the BEST hands possible from now on.

I don’t have a sonogram picture from when the clot was at its biggest, but the black area outlined in red shows the blood pool at 14 weeks - 6cm long - nearly the size of Baby! — I don’t have a sonogram picture from when the clot was at its biggest (10cm), but the black area outlined in red shows the blood pool at 14 weeks - 6cm long - nearly the size of Baby!

Bedrest for Subchorionic Hematoma + Hemorrhage

Both my OB and the MFM told me there was technically nothing I could do to help heal a subchorionic hemorrhage, but bedrest was advised and couldn’t hurt. So I rested. For 5 weeks, I did nothing except go from my bed, to the couch, to the bathroom, back to the couch, back to bed. I worked from my laptop downstairs so I didn’t have to climb the stairs to my office. I canceled the photography jobs I had lined up and made sure not to lift anything remotely heavy (one time I did pick up a full gallon of milk and immediately felt blood gush out). Even just walking with the subchorionic hemorrhage would cause me to bleed sometimes. I tried just to lay on my side as much as possible (my hematoma was on the upper right side of my uterus, so I laid on my left side so the hematoma was elevated - not sure if that really made a difference but it was a mentally helpful thing for me). Andrew stepped up so selflessly and took care of everything around the house for us. Sweet friends sent care packages and meals and made us feel so, so loved.

How I Knew my Subchorionic Hematoma was Healing

For 5 weeks, I wore Depends AND a maxi pad (how cute) and sat on old towels on pretty much every surface of our house. From the day the “big bleed” happened on July 11 until August 16, I bled every single day - enough each day to fill multiple pads. I had a feeling the hematoma was healing when I started bleeding slightly less and less each day, but it was almost 6 weeks before I went a whole day with no blood. I had an appointment with the MFM on August 19th and felt hopeful!

Finally, after a very reassuring anatomy scan where our baby showed to be developing right on target despite 5+ solid weeks of bleeding, my doctor went all over my stomach with the wand and couldn’t see a thing. The blood had vanished. At one point around 16 weeks, the clot had grown to 10cm long, and now it was gone - what I hadn’t bled out had been reabsorbed by my body. I was amazed. We’d had so many people praying and I truly felt those prayers covering us. I have zero doubt that they made a difference.

Staying Optimistic

What’s on the internet regarding SCH can be scary. They can sometimes lead to complications and pre-term labor, and once a placenta separates from the uterine wall, that spot doesn’t reattach and that can be risky.

Nothing in my entire life had tested or strengthened my faith like this ordeal did. Bedrest sure didn’t hurt (although it wasn’t fun), and I do think staying off my feet as much as possible helped. But I truly do think that guarding my thoughts, not letting myself spiral into the what-ifs, and starting to pray whenever I felt scared made the biggest difference. I didn’t want my mental stress to turn into more physiological stress for me or for my baby.

I prayed constantly and said positive affirmations, out loud, multiple times a day, until I started believing them. I am safe. My baby is safe. God is in control and He is good no matter what. Psalm 139 became my lifeline.

FAQ About SCH

Since originally writing this post, I’ve connected with countless mamas going through this. If you’re dealing with the fear and unknowns of an SCH during pregnancy, you are not alone! I am not a doctor or medical professional so please don’t take anything in this post as medical advice. This is all from my personal experience or research via trustworthy sources (Mayo Clinic, etc.). Every pregnancy is different, so consult your OB or Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctor, but these are the common questions I’ve seen.

How long does a subchorionic hematoma take to heal?

Sometimes subchorionic hemorrhages heal and resolve after a few weeks, some take a few months, and some never resolve throughout the entire pregnancy. I bled heavily for about 4 weeks and then less and less each day - 6 weeks total.

Were you prescribed any medication for subchorionic hemorrhage?

No. Both my OB and MFM told me there is no medicine to heal SCH. I did take progesterone at the very beginning of my pregnancy to keep my hormone levels where they needed to be to sustain the pregnancy (at the direction of my fertility doctor) but I finished taking the progesterone before my SCH ever happened.

When does a subchorionic hematoma become dangerous?

My MFM told me we wanted the SCH to stay smaller than the amniotic sac (not the size of the baby but the size of whole sac itself). This is something I prayed about specifically!

Are there any foods to heal a subchorionic hemorrhage?

Not that I’m aware of. I just tried to eat very nutrient-dense foods to support my body’s ability to heal. Toward the end of my pregnancy, after my SCH had healed, my MFM recommended supplementing with high-calorie shakes daily or twice daily to help with baby’s growth.

Does passing a clot mean a subchorionic hematoma is healing?

I passed a big clot on day one - my “big bleed.” My understanding is that passing a clot causes the hematoma to start bleeding and technically then it becomes a hemorrhage. I think this is probably different for everyone. I’ve heard of some women not ever passing any clots at all, just bleeding.

Signs a subchorionic hemorrhage is resolving?

I knew my SCH was healing when I started bleeding less and less each day (around week 4 after the big bleed). The blood got darker (more brown than red) too. I still stayed on bedrest until the bleeding completely stopped, and even after that, I continued to not exercise or lift heavy things throughout my entire pregnancy.

Will I have another subchorionic hematoma if I get pregnant again?

Possibly. My MFM said there’s no way to know if it will happen again, but there is a decent chance and if I do get pregnant again, I will be considered high risk from the start and will be monitored more frequently.

Was your baby ok in the end?

YES! See our update below :)

UPDATE

It’s May 2020 - our baby is now 4 months old! Let me preface this with EVERYTHING IS FINE. But I did want to be totally transparent and share the rest of our journey with a subchorionic hemorrhage. After the bleed disappeared at 18 weeks, we continued seeing our high risk OB frequently to monitor her growth, since placenta issues at any point during pregnancy can hinder growth. I went in for non-stress tests twice a week to make sure her heart rate was okay, and did ultrasounds every other week to measure her. All was relatively good until mid-third trimester, when she wasn’t making the progress she should’ve been and she was labeled as having IUGR - intrauterine growth restriction. All the second trimester bleeding had damaged my placenta (her source of nourishment) and her measurements dropped from the 10th percentile around 28 weeks to the 6th, to the 4th … until at 34 weeks we went in, saw she’d dropped to the 3rd percentile, which meant she was really not growing at all, and our OB said “You’re having a baby tomorrow!”

We went in for a c-section the next day (34w5d) with a team ready to take her straight to the NICU, but she came out crying, breathing on her own and weighing 4 pounds, 10 oz - 12 ounces more than they thought she’d weigh! She never had to go to the NICU at all. She was tiny but otherwise perfectly healthy and we got to go home 3 days later by the grace of God.

She was born with a small infantile hemangioma (red birthmark) on her cheek, which grew pretty rapidly until our pediatrician referred us at 2 months to a pediatric dermatologist, who put her on oral medication to stop it from getting bigger. If you google “infantile hemangioma placenta theory” you can read about several studies that link placental abnormalities (i.e. subchorionic hemorrhages) to the development of hemangioma birthmarks. It’s fascinating!

Obviously not every subchorionic hemorrhage situation will cause a birthmark and honestly, this superficial issue is not really even an issue at all. We’re just so grateful for a healthy, growing baby. At 4 months, she’s completely caught up to other babies her age both growth and development-wise. She overcame quite a bit and we’re so proud of our strong, tough girl!

If you’re going through a subchorionic hematoma or hemorrhage situation, I hope hearing our story can help you stay positive and optimistic. Stay off your feet as much as possible, don’t lift anything heavy at all, ask for help, and if possible, get a referral to a maternal fetal medicine specialist (high risk OB) who can keep a close eye on things, even if the initial hematoma does clear up. Guard your thoughts and PRAY whenever you feel scared. You’ve got this, mama!

I’d love to connect with you if you’re going through this! Find me on Instagram @kaitlynbullard_

When we were in the middle of our pregnancy journey, I messaged a mom I’d been following on Instagram for a while (@marshallpartyofsix) after she mentioned their girls were an IUI success story. I just told her I loved following along, getting to see her precious girls, and that her story gave me hope. In her response she told me she knew how it felt to be in the middle of that struggle and that she always held on to the mantra “Believe it and PROCLAIM it.” So I started doing just that.

It’s a fine line to walk between proclaiming favor on our lives and trusting that God knows what He’s doing - I never wanted to demand something that wasn’t supposed to be part of our story. So I started verbally, audibly proclaiming things like “God, I know you are capable of miracles and I believe You can perform one with me.” “God, You are in control of this outcome and I fully believe this can happen for us.” “God, I believe you have placed this desire to be a mom on my heart for a reason and I know You can see this through.” Saying things like that daily, out loud, helped my confidence in this process immensely.

In February, I shot a wedding in Colorado and as much as I would’ve loved for Andrew to tag along, he couldn’t take off work so I made the trip by myself. When I pulled up to my hotel, wouldn’t you know there was a Carter’s baby store right next door. It felt like a cruel coincidence - the holidays had been hard, our first round of Clomid hadn’t done anything and I was trying not to think about babies 24/7. But that dang store kept taunting me - I went in one night and left with a tiny pair of soft gray baby jogger pants. I felt guilty and stupid for even buying them but I hoped so badly that I’d have a use for them some day.

When the day came that I finally saw those two pink lines in May, I remembered that little pair of pants I’d tucked away in my nightstand. I put them in a paper bag with one of the tests, stuck the bag on our front porch and when Andrew got home, I tried to act preoccupied and told him I thought someone might have dropped off a package outside. I’ll never forget his face of pure shock when he opened that bag!

We wanted to keep the news to ourselves for several weeks, but we had a Memorial Day lake trip with some close friends coming up and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide the secret from them for the whole weekend. I wanted to tell my parents before that happened, and it worked out that I needed to stay with them while I shot a wedding in Austin just a few days after the positive test. Luckily, the fertility clinic was able to get me in for two rounds of bloodwork that week to confirm my HCG levels were in fact doubling, so I felt okay about telling them so soon.

The app One Second Everyday has been a favorite of mine for a while - it takes one-second clips from your Live photos and strings them together into a video, so if you take one photo everyday, it’s such a cool way to watch back and see how the little highlights and moments of each day, even the mundane ones, add up to something really cool. It’s like a little timelapse of life! I’d had my parents watch my 1SE videos a few times before as a way to catch them up on what I’d been up to lately, so I thought it would be a fun way to let them in on our secret. I compiled a video from the past month or so and ended it with a picture of my positive tests as the last clip. The clips go so quickly, my parents didn’t fully realize what they’d seen after the video ended. I had them watch the last few clips again and that time, my mom FREAKED out! She said, “Are those yours?!?” Like I would take a picture of someone else’s … ha! We hugged and cried and my dad got really emotional. It was an awesome moment.

The next few weeks were pretty blissful. I helped throw a baby shower for my college BFF/maid of honor and loved getting to tell her in person and knowing we’d be pregnant at the same time, even if just for a couple of months. We told our friends at the lake with a letterboard (we set it on the patio table and just waited for them to notice). Of course I knew things could happen early on, so I didn’t let myself think too far ahead, but it was so special having this secret only Andrew and I, my parents and a few close friends knew about. Pregnancy is a roller coaster of emotions in general, but we had no idea just a few weeks later, that roller coaster would get a whole lot scarier and “believe it, proclaim it” would take on a whole new meaning.

BLOG

Bullard Boys | Newborn Photos

Twin Boys: Pregnancy, Preparation, Thoughts

Steele's Neutral Nursery

My Subchorionic Hemorrhage Story